Wished

In the year 2008 when we were friends back then, my heart was always whispering to my ear that if only you were single at that point of the time, I would love to get close to you. I always wanted to have one close guy friend which will lead us to be in the relationship. That was all I ever wished back then. But I know, that wished was just a fantasy which leads to nothing. Haha.

3 years ago, you brought me to Chinese Garden and deep in my heart I felt so guilty for one going to such places with someone in a relationship. Deep in my heart, as I was ranting and crying, I felt like resting my head on your shoulder. I do really need a company but sometimes I also need a shoulder to lie on. It's just a wish which I can't help it but to forget it. & that's when I fell in love with you. Silently. Quietly. Secretly.

You disappeared and me, moving on with my life but I still living in fear. Fear of bumping into him. Fear of falling in love again. Fear of being called names. I wish, you were there for me at that point of a time but I know who am I to you to depend on you? Friend? I still have the them and I am very thankful that they were there by my side always. Working as a library assistant and applied school at the same time. Only god knows how I felt at that point of the time when I received that A4 size envelope. I was happy. :')

Bumped into you while you were Q-ing up to buy bubble tea. How I wished I can jump infront of you and shout your name. Eh KHAII!!! How I wished I can do that. But the fact that I know you and her, I was just scared that she's around and if I did that, everything will change. So, I've decided to ignore you and just walked away with regret. Haha. It's funney how we bumped into each other again. But I'm with my poly friends and you with her. And again, I was about to wave and shout at you but again, I'm not going to spoil the mood so I ignored you. The funney thing was, we did eye contact with each other. Opps. :)

I always asked myself this question, are we fated to each other with all this bumping into each other? But all I can say now is, Alhamdulilah, I have already found you. I love you. I miss you. <3