2011...

In 2 days time, we are going to leave 2011 and meet 2012. There are so many memories and things happening during the year of 2011.

I admit the first few months of 2011, I was so happy and cheerful. Maybe because I had a crushed on someone who I thought I will fall for. Maybe because Little Zikry was there (he always be there eversince 27 November 2010) to light up the environment at my home. It's just something that I thought I would be happy for long for the year of 2011. And I didn't know that the happiness that I went through was all temporary. Just. For. Awhile.

My life, in fact most of our life is like Ferris wheel. We're not always at the top and sometimes, we have to experience the lower part of the wheel, called sad/down. Maybe because of my anger. I cannot control it and sometimes, I have to express this anger of mine through twitter and it affect my characteristic. I know I've wronged but somehow, people judge me of who I am just because I'm in angry mode. Maybe, I'm angry for the wrong reason. Maybe because I expect too much from someone and that expectations leads to disappointment. And when I disappointed, it will lead to this anger where everything was affected. I cried a lot and I got no mood to smile and I forgot to smile during that period of time. I'm just a fool expecting things that is not going to happen. I admit that my anger management sucks and I want to kill it before I 'murder' someone who I love a lot.

I am still trying very hard to be very cool, calm and relax. Anger. It's not a good sign and it only worsen the situation when you're angry. I know cause I'm in that situation before. I am still trying. Insyaallah. I just need support. Moral support. :)

On the later part of 2011, I met back my friend, Khairi. A guy who helped me a lot especially when I just need someone 2 years back. Thanks to AK for invited him along during the dinner on 29 July 2011. I didn't know from that dinner, we are going to meet each other again. I didn't expect anything but as far as I'm concern, I caught myself smiling whenever there's a short meet up with them. And everything fall into places and now I just love him and he's just not my friend, but my lover and he's my other half and I keep on falling in love with him over and over again. I hope he will be my last bf cause I just want him. Only him. :)

Everything happened for a reason and I believe God has planned out for me what are my journey for the year 2011. But I believe, there's no ups when there's no down. It's just life. In 2011, I have learnt a lot of things. Sadly, 2011 gonna leave us like any other years before this.

I want my 2012 to be a better year for me. I want to be a good daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend and to be a better person for the sake of Allah. I am sure, Allah has a better plan for me and I still believe there will be a down fall for me in one or a few months in 2012. I am prepared, Insyaallah. :)

May 2012 will be a better year for me, my family, friends and with my boyfriend of course. Insyaallah. *winks*