24th; 7eleven

First and foremost, I would like to wish myself, Happy 24th Birthday to me. 7eleven is my date of birth and I am proud to "own" the date. Hehe.

My birthday celebrations kind of simple this year but very meaningful to me. I don't have to invite everyone to my party as I don't even like it. I don't need to organize a birthday dinner for myself because I like it low. Humble and when you realized, you are getting older, all this things are not important anymore. :) Thank you to those who are putting effort in making the birthday surprise a success because I didn't expect any birthday celebration for me. But thank you! :)

Advance. 

My colleagues were so sweet on the 6th of November. They planned a birthday surprise for me when they know I'm on PM shift on that day. They lied to me saying that there's leftover food at one of the department and asked me to come down and when I came down, tada...I saw 2 balloons with number "2" & "4" on it and it's floating. A helium balloon. A beautiful messages from them and I had 2 lovely but very big Toblerone and Smarties. I am a happy kid! :)

There you go, we coincidentally, wore navy blue on that day. :) Thank you so much ladies. 

7th of November. 

2 days off starting on my birthday. Not really celebrate because mom was busy babysit the nephew and niece while adik is busy doing her assignments that need to be submitted on the next day while the rest are working as usual. So, I've decided to go for my revision and since I got my pay on the same day, I've decided to shop a few tops and bottoms and bought myself a pretty shoe from Charles & Keith. :) And wait, who was with me to accompany me? Of course my dear boyfriend. He said, he don't have a heart to see me wandering alone on my birthday and so he decided to accompany me to shop. Thank you Khai! <3 nbsp="" p="">

Many people doesn't know me except for a few. I am not a heavy shopper but when I shop, I will shop like a guy. Meaning, when I find nice and cheap clothes, I don't want to delay and just buy it even if it's a last piece. I hate shopping and I hate to walk from one shop to another just to find a similar type of clothes with same pricing. Don't you guys think it's tiring and waste a lot of a time? Haha. 

Anw, my loots on that day....

I love the shoe the most. :) So when, I reached home, mom said, the dad will be buying satay for dinner and so, we had satay, rojak char kuay and chicken morrocon for me! Yeay! :) 

Lovely cupcakes from sister-in-law. Delifrance cupcake not up to standard tho. 

Yeap, that's all for my birthday on my actual day. Shopping and spend time with boyfriend and family for dinner. :)

Belated. 8th November.

It's a birthday date for me with the boyfriend. Surprises after surprises after surprises. Well, let's take a chill pill alright. 

Met boyfriend and we had late lunch over at Fika. Yeay, Finally get my feet at that place. Been longing to go there but always had no money. That place is kind of pricey you know. So, I only ordered the sweddish meat ball while him, I forget what is it. 

It's delicious and yup very filling. Me like! :D 

So, we gotta rushed since bf bought 2 tixs of Thor! So happy get to watch the blondie like finally! :) The funny part was Loki becoming the captain america! Haha. It was a great movie but I still need to watch it with subtitle. :) 

Ouh yes, boyfriend surprised me with POLAROID instamax mini camera! I am so excited and really surprised by that! I can't stop smiling to myself. Thank you so much love for being so sweet! :)

And yes, it's in blue color hor! :)

And so, bf decided to take a cab to somewhere and he blindfolded me like a retard. I gave him a lot of complains during the journey. Another surprised. When I took off the blind fold, I saw, my ite mates shouting, surprise! :)) I am so shocked that all my favourite clique were there. I was in tears already until, they said that there's still another surprise for me and when I heard my name been called out, I turned around and, IT'S JULIA!!!!! OMG, I hugged her tight and cried full of joy. Damn, this girl has been MIA for almost 4 years already. That's long, very long. I can't believe Sabby managed to find her back. That is very sweet of her. :') 

I've been talking about her a lot. I missed her okay. A friend who I can speak like minah to her. Though we are not minah lah. A friend who I can maki maki at her. HAHA. I hope, she will stay in touch with us and please dont' go missing will you? :) Thank you all for making my night filled with happiness. :)

I love the gifts. I love the moments. You are like my family to me! :)

And...

to Khai, thank you for being such a sweetheart. Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me. I love you and you know that. :) Sorry if I'm being such a nuisance on that day. Thank you for making me happy. Thank you for loving me. I wanna celebrate my birthday every year with you... insyaallah. Amin. :) <3 p="">

Being 24 meaning, I need to be wise and mature in everything I do. Doesn't mean I need to act like one. I don't like to be all serious because serious will make you look even older. Hehe. Come join me and stay happy. I had the best birthday celebration ever. I'm still young at heart. ;)

Till I see you, 7th November in more coming years. Insyaallah. Amin.

Marriage

I used to to dream to have a very grand wedding reception when I get married. Because for what I believe, we only married once in a life time, insyaallah and to have a grand wedding is nothing. You just have to spend the money and be happy and famous during the wedding ceremony. Eyes will be looking at the decorations, the beautiful dais, the scrumptious food laying on the table etc. Not only that, when the bride and groom come and walking along the red carpet to the dais, eyes will be looking at you and smiling and commenting between them, "wah, so beautiful. This wedding is grand.."  That was all I wanted to have when I get married. 

Luckily, I've changed my mind about this grand wedding ceremony. Now, I understand, not everything that we dream of or we want, we will get it for real. I was blinded by this and didn't realized that I am actually dreaming of something I couldn't afford. No, I am not regret to be born like this. After all this years, I realized, nothing comes cheap. And so, I have decided to have a simple wedding. A simple yet happy wedding for me and my future husband. He may not propose to me yet, but I am sure, one day, he will. Insyaallah. 

It is easy to get married but people in this generation make it difficult. They spend and waste their money for an event which is lasted for only 2 days. Imagine, 2 days, the current price is estimated about 30K Singapore dollars. 30K. You "ikat perut" and save money for years, and thrashed the money just like that for 2 days event. 30K for individual side. To some, it is easy to get 30K because of the backgrounds. They are born to be happy, stylish, wealthy. Unlike some and for example in this case, me, are born in an average family background. From young, I didn't have any luxury to taste what is wealthy. I was thought to be thrifty, to spend wisely and to save money when I wanted something badly. The word save is nothing for me. It is in my dictionary forever. 

I rather make my wedding as simple as possible. What I want is to be legal with someone I love. I don't care about other parties, what I care is me. In few weeks time, I'm turning 24 years old. While other people are busy preparing for their wedding, here I am, still waiting for the right time to come. I am not going to rush things off just because of my age.While other people are getting engaged, here I am still wanna have fun and work my ass off for this. Insyaallah, I will wait. :) 

We already have a plan in mind. A simple yet grand wedding ceremony for us. Initially, I wanted to have a video for our wedding, but I shall cut that idea out and just take a professional photographer instead. While other people wanna do individual side, we wanna make into one and will only invite those who are closes to us. Afterall, I am the 3rd child and I'm not that popular, unlike my sister and brother. Trust me, being in my position, people doesn't careless about me. So these are the only plan that we have so far. For now, I am focusing more about buying a house. I should try and apply it once the BTO at CCK area has already open.

Kita yang merancang, Tuhan yang menentukan. Insyaallah. Semoga, perancangan kita ini lancar semuanye. Amin. 

A test

I took Dr Phil Test and I get 40 points.

My description is as below..

Dr Phil Test from VistaComm

This is more like me

Lucky

Good morning, while everyone was busy doing their own work, here I am, sitting infront of my PC with a cup of Milo, reading someone's blog. I am not reading it but more to viewing their pictures posted on their blog. While I was looking through the blog, I kept asking myself, why are these girls so lucky? You know why I said they are lucky?

Because while they are still single, they are allowed to travel around the world. They have this privileged to go out of Singapore and enjoy their life as much as possible. I wish, I really wish, I can follow my dad's footstep to go around the world. It's kind of my dream to be at other side of the world and I'm not talking about neighboring countries. Funny how I've never been to Indonesia before. Hmm. Ouh well, what can I say here? Going 24 and yet, I'm stuck in Singapore like forever. 

Tho I always complain here and there, I really want to travel, and and I secretly wish that, I have a work that needs to travel all around the world. But, you need to sacrifice a lot. Just imagine, leaving your family behind and your loves one just to work and travel at the same time. Well, I DON'T MIND. Getting busy with stuffs overseas that was just wow. You girls are damn lucky, I tell you. I bet they have a lot of stories to share when they have children. How about me? I don't know what to share to my children in the future. 

So please dear future husband, please bring me to somewhere that I've been longing to go. Please bring me around the world where I can be happy with you and be all romantic with you. HAHA, *blush* I may not have all these privileged now, but I hope you can make my wish come true. I don't want to stuck in Singapore for years. Boo. Thank you in advance. :)

And so let's end here. Goodbye. 

Just not the best week for me. Mood swing and always feel so tired whenever I'm out. Indeed I feel lonely and more lonely everyday. I thought I can at least talk to someone but I think I better keep what's in my mind and my heart to myself.  Who doesn't want to be happy, everyone does. Though I have a very close cousin and a very lovely boyfriend, I don't know why I felt empty. I'm like missing someone but I don't know who? I'm missing myself and lately, I just need to distance myself from people. The fact that I am lonely right now even days before today, I just have to handle this myself.

I can't handle repeated jokes over and over again because these jokes are getting lamer and boring. I don't know what is lacking about me or us or him. Sometimes, when I say, I am okay, means, I am not okay. Sometimes, when I say, I wanna be alone means I want someone to be with me. Sometimes, when I am not smiling doesn't mean you have to stop smiling and be boring. Sometimes, when I don't say I miss you means, I miss you. Every human being is special but for my case, I hide things and pretend that everything gonna be okay.

You see, girls with period, they are healthy in the sense that they are living like any other women. It only take us 7 days to endure this pain, the swings, the blood that is coming out every secs etc. All she needs is a pillow, a warm drinks, chocolate, and most importantly, her boyfriend. She may be all moody, not smiling but that doesn't mean that you as a boyfriend, stop smiling too. Cheering her up is something she needs. Try something new to attract her attention not by just following whatever she feels. This is not "you jump, I jump" moment where everything she did must follow exactly. Right?

I shall just stop. Tears rolling down on my cheeks and I cry like until I can't cry anymore. Worst mood swing ever. And who is beside me now, noone. Who is on the other end now? Noone.

Lonely.

A confession of me.

Hey there. Guess where I am? Yeap, currently I am at work in the office alone. Well, basically today is already 10 Ramadhan and alhamdulilah get to fast and iftar with the beloved family. So tonight, I'm gonna stay until 1030-11pm  for deployment. Yeap, sucks but what to do it is work and in everyone in the IMH is relying on me. Because tomorrow I am not working.

Well, maybe I am not the type who have the patience and all, but seriously, when someone ticks me off, there you have my ultimate cold shoulder towards you. You as in all in general. Be it my friends, family, siblings, boyfriend. Yes you.

I'm the type of person who cannot see people not paying his/her bills. Come on a simple hand phone bills that you have already signed up and agree on with the contract and you can't pay for it? Well some excuses are, "I don't have money and I'm still schooling." or "I'm not working and tts why I can't pay for it" Ya da ya da. I think that excuses are so pathetic and lame and here I trying my best to advise and yet people doesn't seems to care about it why? Because my advise are not really that important. Why should he/she listened to right? Well, he/she can say, "you can pay ur own bills because u are working already.." But come on, putting aside some of the money doesn't make you look like an idiot. No. For me, if you can't pay a simple hand phone bills, why should you be paying for other bills. I am talking about the whole thing in general. I hate people who thinks that, "no money because no work.." How about the day you eat for your lunch. Some expenses for your own? How about that? I believed we must start to learn how to save. But what I noticed, you get the money you spent it all. You get the money, you spent it all. If you know what you people been doing, now start doing reflection.

I am just scared that I will be living with someone who cannot save for a simple thing. Because I noticed a lot and to have that amount of money is difficult. But show me that you tried saving and I think everything will be lot different. & this is why, I always show no confident whenever I heard about the marriage plans. No confident because I see nothing but money to be wasted like that. No confident because I see nothing but "i want to marry with you" statement all over and over again. Because one day, I am scared that I will be supporting other party instead. I am not complaining though but to be in a bigger step, I must think about financial, house and everything. It is simple as it said, "I want to get married with you. I am not going to make it big.." But how about the rest of the thing? Show me. Proof it to me and we can talk.

Another topic is friends. I don't know if I have a real friends or just "come and go" friends. People around me are getting so busy with work because some of them, settling down in 2-3 years time. While other, they have their own group of friends and ignore the rest. While some, like me, waiting for plans to come because being a planner is not easy. Of course it is not easy because, you need to be the voice for the group. But when the planned cock up, everything run not so smooth already. I am the type of person who go with the flow. When everyone says, okay, I will go and say ok too. If not, I can't be bothered to argue especially to some fussy people. And until now, I only have one group of friend and shall not mention here. They know who they are.

There's some issue that caused us to be in a good mood. And that happened months ago . Guys will always be guys, when they with their friends, in their mind is to come home late and come home late. Well I don't mind about that and who am I to control people to come home late as long as I am not involve and that's fine with me. But the thing is, I felt that I am the cause of it because people's friends sacrifices a lot of things just for me while I can't be there because of the timing. Yeap, I can't be home late especially from a nonsense place such as chalet, arab street, park etc.. Just not my thang and I did not practice that during my teenages years. I don't know if people do really invited me seriously or is it because for the sake of their friend's girlfriend. Well, I used to like to join in but after the recent incident, I shall put a stop on myself on every outing that they gonna do. Serik. I don't want to fight with someone over someone's friends. And I shall back off so that eveyone is happy with one another. Not that tak sudi but I have my own rules and for you nk balik ke tak nk, gasak korang lah kan, just dont get me involve. Anymore. & thank god today I am working pm shift. I will always have the reason not coming to any of the event. Sorry.

It's 1014pm and I am still inside the office. Goodnight and goodbye. :)

TP, Fighting, Injury, Graduation, Sober

I hope everyone of you are doing okay upon reading this dusty blog of mine. I am not sure when was the last time I blog but I just checked it just now and it was ermm, 2 months ago. Before I took my TP. Yeap, I failed my TP not once but 2 times. I have to admit I am disappointed with myself and I don't why I can't pass my TP with a first try. I get nervous eventhough I kept telling myself, relax chill you can do this. But still, I failed, miserably. This is so frustrating especially when you can do it during the revision as well as the warm-up session. Whatever it is, I have to stop driving for a while because I have an injured knee to settle on.

It happened last year in school when I accidentally knocked my left knee on the edge of the metal bench. The pain was really awful and I ignored the pain as I thought, it can recovered soon. But no, I discovered a blue black on my knee and again, I ignored it. Until November when I felt the pain again and until now, the pain still linger around my knee area. Tsk. Boyfriend told me to see doctor as soon as possible and being stubborn I ignored him. Opps. My bad. So, last few weeks, decided to see the doc and had my knee X-ray.  The bones seems so fine but the doctor saw that there's a bit swollen around it. So I have to refer to the Alexandra Hospital for Surgery/Therapy on 5th June. I hope nothing worst happen to my knee and the gel that the doc gave me is 50/50. Sometimes, it works and sometimes, it just feel the same. *shrug* IDK. Get well soon.

There are so many things happening this 2 months. My relationship with the bf was just okay. A fight in every relationship will happen no matter how hard you try so hard not to happen. It happened. It has already happened. The best way is to keep looking ahead and never look back. Tsk.

Ouh anw, last Wednesday, was my Graduation Day. Yes! Finally after 3 years, my friends and I finally get the Diploma on stage. Alhamdulilah. :) Our hard work really pays off. We struggled together and we achieved this together. I can never thanked enough to my parents for always believing in me. I thanked all my friends for always rocking my days with style during the 3 years of poly life. It was really a meaningful event for me as I get to make my parents,cousin and bf proud of me. Too bad, Veera didn't come on that day. He is the main people in F951! :D Congratulations to all my friends!

Work was ok. I mean same old same old but I don't if I am trying too hard to fit into the group. Maybe I shall avoid myself from being to close to them because I don't know if they can talk about me behind my back. Well, if they can talk other people why not about me? Right? They are nice people to work with but now, I have to step back and focus on my work. Just follow whatever instruction they ask me to do and do it properly. I'm a bit slow in the beginning but I will try and ensure that the case is close. I should just stop trying so hard lah. Just listen and open my eyes big big to that kind of environment.

Facts about me; if you lose something because of your carelessness, I'm not going to get involved. If you think, you are a better people in terms of "this" I say, I know where I stand and I just keep it simple. :)

Goodnight. :D

Hope you are doing well out there. I know I've been ignoring this dusty blog of mine for so long because 1) I've been using laptop at my work everyday and I am tired of switching on the laptop of mine at home. 2) Because when I got home, I will tend to feel very very sleepy and in the end I just use my smartphone. 3) Nothing interest me to update my blog. i don't know what to type either. Heh. Pardon me. :D

Life has been interesting. With mood swings, misunderstanding, sickness blah blah blah. But I managed to pull through. I managed to control it well I have to get angry first before cooling my temper down. Not that busy with work but more to busy relaxing at work watching Running Man and other movies/drama/catch up drama etc. That will be my routine if not camwhore with the girls. That will be my Monday-Friday routines.

As for the weekends, I really spend it with my practicals. Yes, my TP is on 11 March 2013 and it will be 6 more days to the final judgement. Yes. Only my family, colleagues and boyfriend know about it. I'm not going to announce on social network yet because I don't want to be like other people. So yaya papaya. Nope. I wanna pass it and will only announce it when I pass my TP. Insyaallah amin. This is my dream. I don't care if I can't afford to buy a car. As long as I know how to drive, it will be my dream come true. :))

I am nervous. Yes. I hope I can ace it well. Because I don't want to repeat. I want to pass it with "flying colours" I sound cliche but if my siblings can pass with only 1 try, so can I. Like running man always said, HWAITING for fighting. :D Hope for the best. I know I can do it!

3 more days to payday, say what? :))

On repeat

Sometimes, things just happen so fast that we didn't even realize it why it happen. I was shocked to see her reaction when I asked something which for many of u would think, this is just a normal question & there's no need to feel offended. I don't know why, i am the victim for all this. The worst part is, it's always me who is bad in their eyes. I am not sure why but this is what I felt. It happened not once but a few times already. & I am sick and tired of this thing call bullshit.

Not that I hate you as a person, but I hate your attitude. The way you screamed and shouted at me for god sake you can just say it in a nice way. & when it comes to my turn, you felt offended and banged the door loudly as if you wanted everyone in this house know that you are actually mad of me. I am sorry to say but what wronged did I do? I'm just asking and that's all that matters. What's wrong in asking? I did not even shout at you nor being rude. I am just asking. I am sorry as my point of view, you are worst. You acted like as if you did not commit any sin nor wrong. You just think that whatever you said were right and whatever I said was wrong. You are being childish and forever think that I'm in the wrong. So who am I to you again?

I am giving up in pleasing everyone here in this house. Whatever I said, you might not take it as a consideration. Whatever I do, you might think I'm being rude to you. Right now, I had enough of pleasing everyone in this house. No one dare to take care of each others feelings and that's fine with me. I will just stick with my own decision. Not going to share anymore stories or knowledge that I've learnt at you guys  because it might lead to an arguments and that's the worst part being in this family.

Before I publish, a piece of advise, nobody is perfect. You too are not perfect so why can't you take "teguran" and think before getting offended? *shrug*

No one knows, the feelings I'm having right now. Except you, Khai. 

Love Love

Hello. It has been awhile since I talk about my current affair. My love. Alhamdulilah, we both are happy like any other couple only that this feelings are getting stronger and we really really miss each other quite often. He's busy with school work while me busy with my work. But other than that, we are very very happy together.

Last Sunday, we went to Chinese Garden for a self-photoshoot using my family's DSLR. It was my dream to take multiples of shots for fun. All in all, we had fun walking under the rain and promoting my green umbrella here and there in the pictures.

Shall not rant or brag about it, pictures time now! :D

Thank you Mr Boyfriend for the date and the fun we had together. You are awesome and I love you you and only you. :')

Till then, we meet again. Goodnight.

2013

Happy new year to all people! Nope, I didn't party at all. I did my countdown nah, I don't even countdown. Haha. Well anyway, may this 2013 will be a good year for all of you including mine too. Amin.

I don't believe in resolution because I know for myself that when I set resolutions it won't achieved like that. Because it just turn out like that. But if I want something (mostly a last minute thing), I will try my best to achieve it. For now, I really need to pass my TP. 2 more months to go and now, I'm still stuck with stage 3. I need to rush and get this done and over it before I think of another thing. That's not resolution but that's my goal. Just like how I wanted to get a job by the end of 2012. Alhamdulilah. :)

Not only that, I have achieved a lot of things during my poly days. :) I've graduated and this year May 2013 will be my Graduation Ceremony. Like finally. But the thing is I am so gonna be lazy because the duration from the unofficial graduation and the official graduation is so damn long. Like basi already. But no matter what, I can't wait to wear that robe and get my certificate. I miss all my classmates. The jokes and everything. & only graduation ceremony will "reunite" us back. Hopefully all of us will come for the graduation day this May. :)

I don't want to get high for 2013. I'm still new in working industry and I don't know if I should take up part time degree or not. I don't know if I can handle this new job or not. Well, not going to think about that for now. Now, it's time to focus on my new job and I hope I can handle it. Insyaallah. :))

Oklah, for now that's all. I will update more when I'm not busy alright. Busy lah sangat. :D