I may not be perfect but all I want now is to be happy. It seems that my life is not as happy as I wanted to be. Everything fall into places perfectly until there's one time it fall. Yes, I fall. I always wanted to be that kind of person who don't need to think about his/her happiness. Watching how they can smile, laugh without showing their problems. But for me no. I can't control and can break down easily. That's me. Like it or not, I don't know who will accept it.

If I have the chance to migrate, I'll migrate now and run away from this stupid things that always haunting me ever since. I've been hiding my real feelings at home and pretended that I'm happy and fake a smile for everyone. Sometimes, my heart aches seeing my mom,dad,sister and brother living in their own world not worrying about their problems. But for me, I can't. :'( I really want to run away and hide this feelings of mine. It went up and down and I fucking hate it already. :/

I can only rely on you,blogger. I just can't explain my feelings to anybody right now. Be it to my parents, siblings, friends or cousin. Not anyone but you. I wish this thing will be over soon but how? While I blog,I cried. My heart aching. I wanted to become like my adik. She's so strong and I really want myself back. It's been days and I had enough already.

Dear God, please give me strength and make me strong. I always wanted to be happy. Don't crash my happiness. I had it last 2 years and I don't want this thing to happen again. I hate the feelings of not knowing anything. God, please guide me tru this. Give me an open mind and heart to handle this kind of situation.

I believe in myself. I believe in you.

Noone understands me. :'(

I don't know why suddenly I feel like this. I don't like it you see. How am I supposed to share why,what,how,when to people? I myself don't know why? Must be the PMS symtoms? Or is it me! Haiz. I want the old linda back. I want the old linda back. Seriously! I'm not going to burden people with this kind of situations. This is really killing me. I seriously hate myself for this.

I just want to laugh and have fun without thinking too much of problems. Where is my ego? Where is the old Linda. Please give her back to me. =/ I hate to see myself crying when I'm alone. The feelings is sucks. Noone will understand me but how? I can't explain it to everyone why am I'm down. Haiz. Not even the close friends.

I don't know the outcome of this. I dare not say any word because I don't want to. If I were to be alone, just let me be. I'm fine and I'm getting use to it. People come and go as and when they want, I can't force them to come back to me right? *shrugged*



I just want to be happy like last time. Period.

Vacation

Yesterday 2 of my friends went to KL for their vacation. How I wish I have a vacation with the family so that my term break seems to be much more fun and interesting. :( Staying here in Singapore is very boring and remind me of school work. Haiz. Ouh yeah, I must make myself busy till Monday. Cause my partner in crime is away since yesterday. No text messages from him to disturb me. Nope. Boring. I must bare with it lor. Miss him as a friend only nothing much. Hmm, idk lah or maybe... Shall not say here. *shrugged* I just hope he enjoyed his vacation and please come back in one piece friend. :)



I want to sit by the beach just to smell the sea breeze. It really relax my mind. Yeah man. :)



I don't know where I stand now. Something is holding me back and keep me hanging. Gosh, can I have the answer instead of hanging me like this? -.-"

I miss you...

I miss this bunch of people. Plus Ak too. Mus also. This Thursday, gonna meet them and gonna dine in Sushi. I'm craving for sushi actually. :D So yeah.



I miss having someone in my life. You know the feeling of love. I forgot how to fall in love. I've been liking a lot of people easily but not to the extend of falling in love. Maybe because I didn't know what I wish and wants. Everything seem to be fall apart. I smile, laugh, make jokes but still I'm lonely. I need that little thing that touches my heart.But idk where it goes. Been searching for it since I'm 13? Noone understand. That's why I lie to them. Lie that i don't want any guys right now. The thing is who wants me? I always wanted someone to come "hey you, i want to get to knw u better!" No. Since I'm 13 noone will ever do that. Call me desperate but that's what I always wanted to feel. But... only god know's how I feel. :'( Noone will know this little thing but you,me and Allah.

I miss you.... <3