Heya. My first week of work was pretty much awesome. I got to learn new things and meet new people as well. My support team people were friendly and I think I can get comfortable around with them easily. My job is kind of relaxing well for now, I should say because it's the month of December where many docs are on leave for holiday. I get to install clinical application on a few laptops and desktops and I am glad that I can install it on my own. Although there's a few steps that I forgot to install. But other than that, everything was pretty okay. For now. I haven't encounter any troubleshooting part yet cause no cases for the past few days. So all I do for the 1st week was reading notes and a lil bit of guide line. Watch running man and of course taking pictures as usual.
At the same time while undergo training to wards, I saw the patients there and seriously, they touched my heart. I mean, scared at first but as you look at them, you will feel curious of why they admitted to that kind of place. What causes them to be in there? I am speechless and all I can do is to keep quiet and just focus on the job that I have to do. From the old to the young people like around 10-14 years old?
Anyway, I hope, I can learn a lot of things and I hope, I won't screw anything up. I shall focus and be confident in whatever task they asked me to do. All I can do now is learn and keep on learning. I am still new.
About Me
- Linda
- My good friends called me Lindaling. ♥ They say I have a joker smile. But still I'm proud of myself and my name. Shy with strangers,Crazy with friends. I love blue and drummer. Mixed of Javanese and Boyanese. Family and friends come first in my thoughts. A smile is a must. =)
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Start of something new
Alhamdulilah, after months of staying at home and searching for jobs, finally, I got a job as an IT Support Analyst and will be starting working from tomorrow on wards. I am truly glad that this recommendation has brought me to a good news.
People around me are so happy with the news because they know how hard it is to find a job. They know how I almost gave up when none of the companies called me after interview. How I wanted a job so much. They know especially my family. However, this is the start of a something new. This is just a beginning. I will pray hard that I will get comfortable with the job cause no jobs are easy. Especially when you need to deal with the people, "high" standard people. If you know what I mean.
The job tittle seems to be "wow" but trust me, I am not an analyst, analyst like going tru the codings all. NO. That's not my cup of tea. It is just something not related with my studies actually. Just a simple installation here and there. Well, I hope I can understand the procedure of how to do this and that for my job.
& from tomorrow onwards, it is time for me to wake as early as 6am every morning for work. Give me strength,dear Allah. Give me motivations and give me faith. Amin.
So, linda, all the best for tomorrow. I will update my blog again but not so soon. :D
People around me are so happy with the news because they know how hard it is to find a job. They know how I almost gave up when none of the companies called me after interview. How I wanted a job so much. They know especially my family. However, this is the start of a something new. This is just a beginning. I will pray hard that I will get comfortable with the job cause no jobs are easy. Especially when you need to deal with the people, "high" standard people. If you know what I mean.
The job tittle seems to be "wow" but trust me, I am not an analyst, analyst like going tru the codings all. NO. That's not my cup of tea. It is just something not related with my studies actually. Just a simple installation here and there. Well, I hope I can understand the procedure of how to do this and that for my job.
& from tomorrow onwards, it is time for me to wake as early as 6am every morning for work. Give me strength,dear Allah. Give me motivations and give me faith. Amin.
So, linda, all the best for tomorrow. I will update my blog again but not so soon. :D
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
How is everyone doing? Me? Nah, same old same old. Everyday is just like a normal day for me. No midweek, no TGIF & not even Monday blues for me. Pathetic but this is life of an unemployed worker. I woke up and will always feel sober because everyday I will look up upon the ceiling and thinking, "what am I going to do today?" Everyday single day. I am getting bored with my life now but on a positive note, I do enjoy sleeping and waking up late everyday. Unlike those students/workers who will drag their feet their places. Well not for me...yet. Be positive Linda, this is just not your time. Your time will come maybe next year. Just believe in yourself and have faith in capital HIM. Insyaallah, pintu rezeki akan dibuka untuk mu. :)
Let's just put aside that for a moment. I wanted to pour everything out here because in my society, I heard a lot of "cepat2 nikah." This phrase is like everywhere and I find it kind of irritating sometimes. This is my view. Yes, it is true, as a human being it is very true that we have desire. No matter what we do, syaitan will always be there to test us, to disturb us and to see how good our iman is. Those silence whispers will lead you to the dark path. Dark & filthy. Sinful path. But I am not an angel. I do a lot of wrong things too. But I always ask this question, how far can I continue? What if tomorrow I die without having a chance to repent? These, scares me everytime. Death.
Anw, back to the topic, how I wish I can just nikah with my boyfriend like that to get rid of maksiat? How I wish, if the word "nikah" is as easy as we say it? Some parents or in fact some people are willing to get married because their parents don't want to be responsible of their children's doing. They wanted to "lepas tangan" and that's it, everything settled. No more maksiat and no more sin. So how about their future? How about their shelter, foods and their life? Unless they are born rich, how do they even get their money from? Nikah like that & after that your future is just as the same like that?
Nikah is a beautiful thing for couples. But we are not living like how our great great grandparents lived. We are in an era where everything needs money. Money is not everything, yeap, but who's going to pay the bills if not you? Who's going to pay for the house if not you? For me, it is very important to have money not for your marriage but after marriage too. It's a two ways where one, is to avoid maksiat and two, because you want to be independent and being independent you need money and when you need money is by having an income and by having an income, you need to work. Speaking of marriage, it is easy to say then do it.
Some parents/people need to understand that, in this world nothing is free. By nikah, it doesn't solve any problems because right after you have done your majlis, that's it. It is the begining of reality where problems is still a problem. It's how you faced it as husband and wife.
I never said, that I don't want to marry, of course I want to. I have to take things slowly and people around me have to understand that I need to take things step by step. I have no income now. He still studying. But we do have our target. But my target for now is to help out my parents. I have a big responsibilities for my family. Not only me but for him too. I want my marriage to be as perfect as what I dream off. Not too grand not too simple. I want to be happy during and after the ceremony when I know, I did not regret working extra hard not just for the majlis but also after that. To enjoy a very long honeymoon with him and will regret nothing but being happy with him. Insyaallah.
Marriage is a very beautiful thing, why waste it when you can still save it? :)
Let's just put aside that for a moment. I wanted to pour everything out here because in my society, I heard a lot of "cepat2 nikah." This phrase is like everywhere and I find it kind of irritating sometimes. This is my view. Yes, it is true, as a human being it is very true that we have desire. No matter what we do, syaitan will always be there to test us, to disturb us and to see how good our iman is. Those silence whispers will lead you to the dark path. Dark & filthy. Sinful path. But I am not an angel. I do a lot of wrong things too. But I always ask this question, how far can I continue? What if tomorrow I die without having a chance to repent? These, scares me everytime. Death.
Anw, back to the topic, how I wish I can just nikah with my boyfriend like that to get rid of maksiat? How I wish, if the word "nikah" is as easy as we say it? Some parents or in fact some people are willing to get married because their parents don't want to be responsible of their children's doing. They wanted to "lepas tangan" and that's it, everything settled. No more maksiat and no more sin. So how about their future? How about their shelter, foods and their life? Unless they are born rich, how do they even get their money from? Nikah like that & after that your future is just as the same like that?
Nikah is a beautiful thing for couples. But we are not living like how our great great grandparents lived. We are in an era where everything needs money. Money is not everything, yeap, but who's going to pay the bills if not you? Who's going to pay for the house if not you? For me, it is very important to have money not for your marriage but after marriage too. It's a two ways where one, is to avoid maksiat and two, because you want to be independent and being independent you need money and when you need money is by having an income and by having an income, you need to work. Speaking of marriage, it is easy to say then do it.
Some parents/people need to understand that, in this world nothing is free. By nikah, it doesn't solve any problems because right after you have done your majlis, that's it. It is the begining of reality where problems is still a problem. It's how you faced it as husband and wife.
I never said, that I don't want to marry, of course I want to. I have to take things slowly and people around me have to understand that I need to take things step by step. I have no income now. He still studying. But we do have our target. But my target for now is to help out my parents. I have a big responsibilities for my family. Not only me but for him too. I want my marriage to be as perfect as what I dream off. Not too grand not too simple. I want to be happy during and after the ceremony when I know, I did not regret working extra hard not just for the majlis but also after that. To enjoy a very long honeymoon with him and will regret nothing but being happy with him. Insyaallah.
Marriage is a very beautiful thing, why waste it when you can still save it? :)
Thursday, November 8, 2012
23rd
Happy 23rd to me! No, today is not my birthday but it was yesterday. First of all, I would like to say thank you to those who wished me yesterday. Thank you to my family especially for making my night a good night. Thanks to adik for cooking and baking the family varieties of scrumptious food. It was seriously, so sweet of you. Thank you boyfriend for tolerating my nonsense too.
It was such a dreadful day yesterday. I can't stop crying on my birthday. The feelings sucks. I was supposed to be happy on my birthday but it seems it just failed miserably. I can't fake my smile infront of everyone especially, infront of my boyfriend. I just can't seem to find a reason to smile and be happy yesterday. Only God knows how I felt yesterday. Thank god, bf was really patience with me. We can go around the mall by not showing our happy faces. Because I just can't and I have to cried infront of him. I letting out everything and he gave me advises for me and he made me a strong person. Well, I hope I can be as strong as other people. But I'm just not that strong to keep myself motivated.
What matters me the most are, the companies that I had yesterday. In the end, family will always makes you happy. In the end its them who you turn to. I just hope, my days after my birthday will be great. I can and I am strong. Keep calm and pray 5 times a day. Keep calm and doa. Keep calm and believe in God. Keep calm just keep calm...
Being 23 years old, I wish that I will get a FULLtime job soon. I wish I have faith in myself. I wish, I can become a good person. I wish, I can celebrate my birthday in more coming years with my family and also with my soulmate. Insyallah. Amin.
P/s: I need to find my own birthday gift soon.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Teguran
I have to type it in malay. I don't care cause once I say it in malay, my anger is at my boiling point already.
Setiap kesalahan yang kita buat pasti ada yang menegurnye. Terima atau tidak, itu diri sendiri masing2. Cuma aku tak paham, kenapa bile kita da tegur, teguran tu boleh punca masalah? Tak masuk akal kan? Lepas tu teguran tu pulak orang lain yang tegur. Padahal niat aku baik. Tegur pasal dier sebahagian darah daging aku. Tegur pasal, aku tau itu salah. Klw tak ditegur maknenye aku bersubahat jugak kan? Tegur pasal aku tak sanggup nk tngok mak bapak aku tanggung malu. Ape bende2 nie semua kene diajar ke?
Orang lain yang tak tahu menahu tentang perkara sebenar, sanggup menemgking aku seolah2 aku yang salah. Seolah2 punca ini semua aku yang cetuskan. Seolah aku yang bersalah. Memang dalam banyak2 orang, teguran yang aku selalu buat selalu straight in your face punya. Try to accept the fact that adik korang nie memang perbualannye agak kasar sebab itu sekarang aku da malas nk berbual lagi. But once I started to talk, that's it. Something wrong somewhere. Aku nampak pendiam, tapi selama aku diam aku banyak perhatikan orang2. Cara perbuatannye. So, salah ke kalau aku menegur for once? Sampai aku kene tengking pulak? Wei, sedih lah sia.
I've been tolerating this and when I see my mom tears started to burst, that's it. BOILING POINT already. How am I suppose to look at her when she's crying? Remember lah, jasa mak bapak memang tak akan terbalas tapi at least ingat lah sikit. I'm losing my respect to you seriously. Jangan fikir kau da besar, da ade 2 anak, nak kepala batu. Jangan nak tunjuk ego kat sini. Ape salahnye, kau respect sikit mak bapak! Kalau takde respect ngan dorang, how am I suppose to show my respect to you?
So who is my role model? I don't know. My only role model is my parents. None of my siblings showed good examples to me. The only thing I can see was their "JOKES" and more jokes everyday. I felt like they are not worth it to call Kakak & Abang. For what I have learn, takde kasih sayang dengan adik beradiknye sendiri. Tau nk menegking. Now, I can't be bothered anymore.
Setiap kesalahan yang kita buat pasti ada yang menegurnye. Terima atau tidak, itu diri sendiri masing2. Cuma aku tak paham, kenapa bile kita da tegur, teguran tu boleh punca masalah? Tak masuk akal kan? Lepas tu teguran tu pulak orang lain yang tegur. Padahal niat aku baik. Tegur pasal dier sebahagian darah daging aku. Tegur pasal, aku tau itu salah. Klw tak ditegur maknenye aku bersubahat jugak kan? Tegur pasal aku tak sanggup nk tngok mak bapak aku tanggung malu. Ape bende2 nie semua kene diajar ke?
Orang lain yang tak tahu menahu tentang perkara sebenar, sanggup menemgking aku seolah2 aku yang salah. Seolah2 punca ini semua aku yang cetuskan. Seolah aku yang bersalah. Memang dalam banyak2 orang, teguran yang aku selalu buat selalu straight in your face punya. Try to accept the fact that adik korang nie memang perbualannye agak kasar sebab itu sekarang aku da malas nk berbual lagi. But once I started to talk, that's it. Something wrong somewhere. Aku nampak pendiam, tapi selama aku diam aku banyak perhatikan orang2. Cara perbuatannye. So, salah ke kalau aku menegur for once? Sampai aku kene tengking pulak? Wei, sedih lah sia.
I've been tolerating this and when I see my mom tears started to burst, that's it. BOILING POINT already. How am I suppose to look at her when she's crying? Remember lah, jasa mak bapak memang tak akan terbalas tapi at least ingat lah sikit. I'm losing my respect to you seriously. Jangan fikir kau da besar, da ade 2 anak, nak kepala batu. Jangan nak tunjuk ego kat sini. Ape salahnye, kau respect sikit mak bapak! Kalau takde respect ngan dorang, how am I suppose to show my respect to you?
So who is my role model? I don't know. My only role model is my parents. None of my siblings showed good examples to me. The only thing I can see was their "JOKES" and more jokes everyday. I felt like they are not worth it to call Kakak & Abang. For what I have learn, takde kasih sayang dengan adik beradiknye sendiri. Tau nk menegking. Now, I can't be bothered anymore.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Down
What should you do when you know that you are down? When you think you don't have anyone to talk to? When you think that the world is shutting you down? When you feel lonely? When you feel stress? What should you do?
What? Are you going to shut yourself down by killing yourself? Just like that? And by doing that you think you are safe? Think about other people please if you don't think about yourself. So what if you are stress and there's no one to help you? To hear you? So so what? You still have Allah to hear your sorrows. I am sure you people have sejadah, telekung and songkok. Pray, doa and tawakal. That's why we are asked to pray because by praying and by doa, you will find peace. Cry, go on and cry. HE will listen to your sadness. But please don't ever give up.
I'm having a hard time to adjust myself. I'm not a saint and I'm a sinner. I've sin a lot of times and yet, I doa to Allah to forgive my sins. I pray hard that it won't happen to me anymore, but again, this temptation of doing bad things came and I've sin. I don't know if I will continue to doa for forgiveness. They said, once you seek for forgiveness, he will forgive you but you are not allow to repeat the mistakes again. But look at me, I've sin. I repeat the same mistakes over and over again. So now, I have myself to blame. People make mistakes, yes, but people make mistakes once, yes? no?
I'm down. You are down. And everybody's down. So what? It's not that you are the only one who are down. There are people who are suffer more than you do. Remember that, the world doesn't evolve around you. The only thing you can do is to pray and doa. It is so hard to start for some, but Allah will always be there for you people including me.
Think before you speak. Think before you act. I will leave you guys to this song. May Allah listen to our sorrows, insyaallah. Yakin & Tawakal.
What? Are you going to shut yourself down by killing yourself? Just like that? And by doing that you think you are safe? Think about other people please if you don't think about yourself. So what if you are stress and there's no one to help you? To hear you? So so what? You still have Allah to hear your sorrows. I am sure you people have sejadah, telekung and songkok. Pray, doa and tawakal. That's why we are asked to pray because by praying and by doa, you will find peace. Cry, go on and cry. HE will listen to your sadness. But please don't ever give up.
I'm having a hard time to adjust myself. I'm not a saint and I'm a sinner. I've sin a lot of times and yet, I doa to Allah to forgive my sins. I pray hard that it won't happen to me anymore, but again, this temptation of doing bad things came and I've sin. I don't know if I will continue to doa for forgiveness. They said, once you seek for forgiveness, he will forgive you but you are not allow to repeat the mistakes again. But look at me, I've sin. I repeat the same mistakes over and over again. So now, I have myself to blame. People make mistakes, yes, but people make mistakes once, yes? no?
I'm down. You are down. And everybody's down. So what? It's not that you are the only one who are down. There are people who are suffer more than you do. Remember that, the world doesn't evolve around you. The only thing you can do is to pray and doa. It is so hard to start for some, but Allah will always be there for you people including me.
Think before you speak. Think before you act. I will leave you guys to this song. May Allah listen to our sorrows, insyaallah. Yakin & Tawakal.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Sit Back and relax part 2
Love of my life. Muhammad Zulkhairi.
Bestest cousin, Salbiah Sadi.
So, sit back and relax.
Sit back and relax
As I was typing this, I'm on my bed struggling to position this laptop on one of my lap. The right lap. Since my left knee is having a slight problem, I shall not burden it with heavy thing.
I don't know what to blog about as my mind is block and I'm lost of words. I don't know if I want to carry on blogging since I always left my blog till it become rusty and dusty. It is always about my feelings and not about my thoughts and opinion. I'm suck at giving opinions. Trust me I rather keep quiet than voicing out my opinion. Nobody will care of what I said anyway. "Silence is better than bullshit" Remember that. I will only say it IF I have to say it.
I have to admit it, I am not an active blogger like others. Well, maybe, they blog because they have something to say, promote or even criticize people. But I don't. I only blog whenever I feel like blogging. To show how I really feel? For others, they blog because they wanted to be the best blogger in the city. They wanted to show how good their fashions are. To let other people admire and be motivated by them. For some, they blog because they wanted to share people solutions. (Well, I've been doing research during my poly days and I always came across a blog full of solutions. Especially, coding. Nah, not my cup of tea.) Not for me.
How to be famous? I don't want to be famous, famous but somehow, deep inside me, I do want to be famous. Well, it will never work our because I have this term called, "low self-esteem" A shy lady who is very shy in everything. I kept asking myself, how these ladies can be recognized by strangers? How by blogging, can be famous? A question with no answers. Always kept wondering how how how?
Tell me more about myself. People will only know me when they really know me. Not because of how famous you are by blogging. Not because how cool you are with the outfits. Because of me. I know a lot of people but only few people gave an impact on me. I don't have best friends, I don't have a a lot of group friends. I have a boyfriend cum my best friend because I always turn to him whenever I'm down or happy or angry or whatever feelings I have. I have a bestest cousin and she act as my bestfriend too. But I don't have best friend friend. If you know what I mean?? Well, I have friends but not thattt close. My life is depend on my family and myself and I am very happy about it. BUT, for sure, if any group of friends planning for a group outing, I will try my best to come. Because I love to make peace not war. To other people, they might think, I love making wars not peace. I don't know.
People will never know me unless they know me well since I was born. Yeap, I tweet. I'm an addicted to twitter. I will tweet whenever I want, and friends always "tegur" me not to tweet a lot because I flooded their timeline. Not once but a lot of times up till now. Oppsieee. I am sorry but for whatever reason I just love to tweet. So be my friends and accept that I am an addicted to the twitter world. So, the question is, who is to be blamed? *tap chin*
Left knee is aching. I shall stop here.
I don't know what to blog about as my mind is block and I'm lost of words. I don't know if I want to carry on blogging since I always left my blog till it become rusty and dusty. It is always about my feelings and not about my thoughts and opinion. I'm suck at giving opinions. Trust me I rather keep quiet than voicing out my opinion. Nobody will care of what I said anyway. "Silence is better than bullshit" Remember that. I will only say it IF I have to say it.
I have to admit it, I am not an active blogger like others. Well, maybe, they blog because they have something to say, promote or even criticize people. But I don't. I only blog whenever I feel like blogging. To show how I really feel? For others, they blog because they wanted to be the best blogger in the city. They wanted to show how good their fashions are. To let other people admire and be motivated by them. For some, they blog because they wanted to share people solutions. (Well, I've been doing research during my poly days and I always came across a blog full of solutions. Especially, coding. Nah, not my cup of tea.) Not for me.
How to be famous? I don't want to be famous, famous but somehow, deep inside me, I do want to be famous. Well, it will never work our because I have this term called, "low self-esteem" A shy lady who is very shy in everything. I kept asking myself, how these ladies can be recognized by strangers? How by blogging, can be famous? A question with no answers. Always kept wondering how how how?
Tell me more about myself. People will only know me when they really know me. Not because of how famous you are by blogging. Not because how cool you are with the outfits. Because of me. I know a lot of people but only few people gave an impact on me. I don't have best friends, I don't have a a lot of group friends. I have a boyfriend cum my best friend because I always turn to him whenever I'm down or happy or angry or whatever feelings I have. I have a bestest cousin and she act as my bestfriend too. But I don't have best friend friend. If you know what I mean?? Well, I have friends but not thattt close. My life is depend on my family and myself and I am very happy about it. BUT, for sure, if any group of friends planning for a group outing, I will try my best to come. Because I love to make peace not war. To other people, they might think, I love making wars not peace. I don't know.
People will never know me unless they know me well since I was born. Yeap, I tweet. I'm an addicted to twitter. I will tweet whenever I want, and friends always "tegur" me not to tweet a lot because I flooded their timeline. Not once but a lot of times up till now. Oppsieee. I am sorry but for whatever reason I just love to tweet. So be my friends and accept that I am an addicted to the twitter world. So, the question is, who is to be blamed? *tap chin*
Left knee is aching. I shall stop here.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
I've never felt this sad before. The last time I cried "hard" like this was years ago when I was really down. Saturday night was always a blissful night for me but not yesterday. I just can't stop crying. Sometimes, when you are happy, you tend to forget the consequences. The thing is, we just don't know when.
Past. Everyone including me has their own past. Maybe my past was a bit pathetic but I was a victim of cyber bully by my own ex. Maybe for some, it is just normal case but for me, it left a scar on my heart until now. Being judged by someone who I used to know and used to love. I managed to wash away all my past, after trying hard to hide myself from him, I bumped into him at my school. After years, when I looked at him, my heart started to beat faster and faster and I calmed myself down by saying, "it's ok. It's over now." I believe Allah planned this to test how strong my heart is. I managed to pull through, no tears but of course, memories and harsh words from him still linger in my head, for a while and it vanished at the same time. For whatever reason, I'm strong enough to face him IF Allah decided to bump into me and him again.
That's my past. People have different kind of past. Bad good or whatever kind of memories. The question is, how long are you going to hide yourself from your past? Maybe I'm not in your shoes. Maybe I don't understand the situation but I don't want to force either. This is your choice. If you hide, keep on hiding until you are strong enough to face it. I am here to try and help and when I heard the reason, deep inside my heart, I'm hurt.
After all, the choice is in your hand. I don't have the authority to control you. If you are happy to hide, I will try to be happy as well. I will understand like how I understand you and your situation as always. Always keep in mind that, God has a better plan for us. For you. For me. For the people.
I hate this heavy feelings right now. I hate to deal with heart problem. I hate to be sad just because of your past. I hate it when tears started to flow. Dear Allah, what am I suppose to do when you keep on testing me like this? You know, I am not strong. :'(
Past. Everyone including me has their own past. Maybe my past was a bit pathetic but I was a victim of cyber bully by my own ex. Maybe for some, it is just normal case but for me, it left a scar on my heart until now. Being judged by someone who I used to know and used to love. I managed to wash away all my past, after trying hard to hide myself from him, I bumped into him at my school. After years, when I looked at him, my heart started to beat faster and faster and I calmed myself down by saying, "it's ok. It's over now." I believe Allah planned this to test how strong my heart is. I managed to pull through, no tears but of course, memories and harsh words from him still linger in my head, for a while and it vanished at the same time. For whatever reason, I'm strong enough to face him IF Allah decided to bump into me and him again.
That's my past. People have different kind of past. Bad good or whatever kind of memories. The question is, how long are you going to hide yourself from your past? Maybe I'm not in your shoes. Maybe I don't understand the situation but I don't want to force either. This is your choice. If you hide, keep on hiding until you are strong enough to face it. I am here to try and help and when I heard the reason, deep inside my heart, I'm hurt.
After all, the choice is in your hand. I don't have the authority to control you. If you are happy to hide, I will try to be happy as well. I will understand like how I understand you and your situation as always. Always keep in mind that, God has a better plan for us. For you. For me. For the people.
I hate this heavy feelings right now. I hate to deal with heart problem. I hate to be sad just because of your past. I hate it when tears started to flow. Dear Allah, what am I suppose to do when you keep on testing me like this? You know, I am not strong. :'(
Monday, October 15, 2012
My first
And today was my first practical lesson and wohoo, I get to drive on the circuit. Yeah yeah, I know it's pathetic but who am I kidding? This is my first lesson and boy there so much things to remember. I took manual and why? Because I am curious of how the clutch is working. And now, I understand already the function of the clutch. Well, many people think it is to changing gear but it is actually to connect and disconnecting the engine. When you press the clutch, u disconnecting the engine and when you release it you connect it back the engine. Just like that and it is not as easy for the first timer.
I was too engross until the instructor said, I am a bit kanchiong. Of course, I am too excited to drive. I hope by the next lesson, I will remember all the step. I need to get my license as soon as possible because this is one of my dreams. I am not letting it go and I'm not gonna make it fail. Dear God, give me faith in me.
Faz, Wawa and Rahman gotten their job already and will be only starting working next week. I am so happy for them. Really. But I don't know, deep inside my heart, I'm sad. Demoralized. It is not that I'm not trying, I have tried. More than 10 resumes already, but...... i shall wait and god please give me a bit of faith for me to believe in myself....
I'm sad.... still sad. I had enough of resting at home.
I was too engross until the instructor said, I am a bit kanchiong. Of course, I am too excited to drive. I hope by the next lesson, I will remember all the step. I need to get my license as soon as possible because this is one of my dreams. I am not letting it go and I'm not gonna make it fail. Dear God, give me faith in me.
Faz, Wawa and Rahman gotten their job already and will be only starting working next week. I am so happy for them. Really. But I don't know, deep inside my heart, I'm sad. Demoralized. It is not that I'm not trying, I have tried. More than 10 resumes already, but...... i shall wait and god please give me a bit of faith for me to believe in myself....
I'm sad.... still sad. I had enough of resting at home.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
The Gift by Cecelia Ahern
I won't start blogging by saying hello cause it's way too typical. Let's get this straight. Since, I've got nothing to do at home well maybe after doing some chores, literally, I don't know what else to do so decided to do some reading.
The Gift by Cecelia Ahern. Yeap that's the book that I've read and the content of the stories was pretty good. It's not a typical love stories between 2 teenagers who are in love and live happily ever after. This book is more about family, life, appreciation and time. It is all about time management. Time is precious, they say but do we really practice what we preach? I don't think so. Anw, this is a story about Lou, who don't have a time with his family and he chose work over his family. Sad but that's Lou. A man who have a career mind and always busy with his work and everyone loves him because he is smart, got a lot of deals but he failed one thing, his family. One day, he met a homeless guy along the office building, Gabe, that's his name. He was a nice guy and Lou liked him. Lou offered Gabe a job as a mailer. Gabe is a mysterious guy. He did his job well. Fast but mysterious. Lou got to know that he lived at one of the room at the basement of the whole building.
Lou doesn't get along with his own family not even with his daughter, his dad, mom, siblings etc. He only cared and concerned about his career and to make profits for his company. Gabe, introuduce Lou pills which cloned Lou. First Lou, always wanted to be by his family while the second Lou always wanted to rush for work. So what happened was that, he's been cloned. He only took one time and he realized that, he felt so left out when there's family gathering. How much he missed everyone in the family. He never felt so good being around with his family. His wife and children especially.
There's one night, his last night, he confronted Gabe and asking him who is he? Whatever Gabe said to him, I find it true. I find it, yes, you deserved your family more that your career. It's all bout time management. Lou met an accident after the confrontation with Gabe and decided to take the pill, (Lou found out that the pill that he took was just a headache pills and that is why, Lou confronted Gabe), the first Lou died on the spot while the second Lou came home and he made a quick and a last chit chat with his children. He told them to take care of their mom, siblings and take care of themselves when he will be elsewhere, far away from them. He even told them, that no matter how far he go, he will still in their mind and heart watching them from far. He told that to his wife and the next morning, he's gone. Forever. To enter into another world. And the police, can't locate Gabe and left as a mysterious guy.
For what I learnt from this book is to appreciate someone close to you. Your family, your friends, your spouse, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, everyone. Time is precious and it is precious than gold. Every seconds wasted, and that's it. You don't know when will be your last day. Walt Disney said, "Don't neglect your family just for business" Spend your time wisely. Make everyone loves you. Love everyone. Know your priorities before it's too late. Let me quote this from the book, "Time can't be given. But it can be shared."
It is all bout time management and how you spend it.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Been applying and sending out more than 10 resumes already and I only came down for an interview once. And the pay was damn pathetic. Not many people call me and when they call, it's only phone interview and they will say, "I will get back to you." Yeah, I've been waiting for the calls since September and nah, no calls at all. It's either my resume sucks or its just my luck. I have to wait and keep on waiting and at the same time will be searching for more jobs. Sigh. Thought of having Diploma, it would be much easier. But nah, they need experience and also they need people who can speak in English and Mandarin.
I don't know what I really want for my future. Eversince, I choose IT as my course of studies in ITE, everything seems to change. I am not interested in IT but I HAVE to take up this because I was left with no choice. I took it for the sake of taking it. But with no interest. When I come to poly, it become worst but atleast I'm good in networking. But I don't have confidence in applying of what I learnt to the working word. Le sigh. I don't know what I want. What is my dreams? Seems like I can only do admin work but nothing else. Taking up phone calls, the most boring job ever. I don't want to work and answering calls because I'm not interested in doing that. Ahh, this is getting boring. 2 months at home and I only went for 1 interview? What sorcery is this?
Or is it, I wear hijab and when they look at the resume with my passport size photo wearing hijab, they rejected it? Come on. I find it nonsense when they are very particular about this. Looks like hijab is an obstacle to make the company look good? They are wrong. Seriously wrong. -.-
I just want to breakdown. But nah, not infront of the people. All they can say is to be patience and keep on trying. Yeah, I will. But 2 more months to 2013. My goal is to get a stable job by the end of this year. At least people won't be looking down on me. Because they think, I haven't work and all they can do is to see my flaws. Whatever I do, seems so wrong in their eyes. For goodness sake, I'm going 23, not 13. Don't treat me like a kid. Don't use rules to let me listen to you people. You implement rules, I tend to break it. So now, I don't care about rules, cause I rule my life. I know what's good and what's bad. Stop treating me like a secondary school kid. Pfft. -.-"
I don't know what I really want for my future. Eversince, I choose IT as my course of studies in ITE, everything seems to change. I am not interested in IT but I HAVE to take up this because I was left with no choice. I took it for the sake of taking it. But with no interest. When I come to poly, it become worst but atleast I'm good in networking. But I don't have confidence in applying of what I learnt to the working word. Le sigh. I don't know what I want. What is my dreams? Seems like I can only do admin work but nothing else. Taking up phone calls, the most boring job ever. I don't want to work and answering calls because I'm not interested in doing that. Ahh, this is getting boring. 2 months at home and I only went for 1 interview? What sorcery is this?
Or is it, I wear hijab and when they look at the resume with my passport size photo wearing hijab, they rejected it? Come on. I find it nonsense when they are very particular about this. Looks like hijab is an obstacle to make the company look good? They are wrong. Seriously wrong. -.-
I just want to breakdown. But nah, not infront of the people. All they can say is to be patience and keep on trying. Yeah, I will. But 2 more months to 2013. My goal is to get a stable job by the end of this year. At least people won't be looking down on me. Because they think, I haven't work and all they can do is to see my flaws. Whatever I do, seems so wrong in their eyes. For goodness sake, I'm going 23, not 13. Don't treat me like a kid. Don't use rules to let me listen to you people. You implement rules, I tend to break it. So now, I don't care about rules, cause I rule my life. I know what's good and what's bad. Stop treating me like a secondary school kid. Pfft. -.-"
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Before this, everything was fine and yesterday I don't know what's wrong with me, I read the old text messages from my old phone and I realized I miss the old damn thing. I kept smiling to myself reading everything that was given by my boyfriend. Is it wrong for me to read those old text messages and compare it to now? God, I don't know why must I feel like this? Why do I find myself in this situation always? I miss everything from the start ; when we started texting. Why do I feel like that was the best moment compared to now? I don't want to compare but deep in me, I compared the present and the past.
Earlier on, you texted me saying, "there no such thing as honeymoon period". I was surprised by that and what makes you think that I think that way. As soon as you saying that, from what I read yesterday, I find that, for the last 11 months, we are having a honeymoon period. Look at us now. I don't know if is it me or the time has change.
Eversince, there's rule implemented on me, I miss the short meetups with you when I'm done with school. I miss everything that has happened to us. I miss how we can laugh out loud for every outing and I can go anywhere I like without being asked. I, I want that again, because this rules drive me crazy even if it's for our own good.
I am so scared that I will be the bad guy here. I am so scared that my old me will scare you off. I am scared one day, our love will be just like that....where do I went wrong here?
I will pray hard... for us. :'(
Earlier on, you texted me saying, "there no such thing as honeymoon period". I was surprised by that and what makes you think that I think that way. As soon as you saying that, from what I read yesterday, I find that, for the last 11 months, we are having a honeymoon period. Look at us now. I don't know if is it me or the time has change.
Eversince, there's rule implemented on me, I miss the short meetups with you when I'm done with school. I miss everything that has happened to us. I miss how we can laugh out loud for every outing and I can go anywhere I like without being asked. I, I want that again, because this rules drive me crazy even if it's for our own good.
I am so scared that I will be the bad guy here. I am so scared that my old me will scare you off. I am scared one day, our love will be just like that....where do I went wrong here?
I will pray hard... for us. :'(
.....
Sometimes, I'm wondering why do people sacrifice something for their love ones? Why do they have to do that to make someone happy? Is that a way to make a relationship a happy one? I'm confused. It is hard to please people now. I don't know but this little heart of mine feel that way. Maybe I'm just being overprotective or maybe overly concern by everything but this is how I make sure that everything is alright and ensure that my love ones are safe. But if this little sacrifices did not make any good and making someone unhappy about it, then I should just stop. Stop from being overly concern and overprotective. I don't need anything but all I want is a little appreciation.
I am little upset by the way people asked me. The tone and everything. Why do you have to ask me like that when I am willing to do so? People need to understand that I do because I care. Because the misses which lingers on me. Because of love too. For what I care, I am willing to do because I want it. No one forces me but when I started to hear the "rough" tone from you, then I believe you don't really like me being overly concern over you. I am not assuming but I felt that, me being stubborn for a good reason is always a bad idea.
Right now at this moment, I don't know whether to be sad or not. Because that voice is haunting me again and again. I'm sorry for being overly concern about you. Because right now, Imma little upset with everything.
I love you... :'(
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Alhamdulillah
Officially graduated from Temasek Poly and I passed all my modules and I maintained my GPA and yes, Alhamdulilah. My hardwork finally paid off. I am satisfied with my results. Compared to my last 2 semester, my GPA went up a little bit this semester excluding my Cumulative GPA. :D I don't know what else to say but I am very happy with all the results. Congrats to all my friends too. For those who fail (well I hope nobody) please try again and work hard. :D
School life: Checked. It's time to find a proper job for myself. :) Pray hard for me. Insyallah.
School life: Checked. It's time to find a proper job for myself. :) Pray hard for me. Insyallah.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
After 3 years...
And so, after 3 years of gaining my knowledge, I am proud to say, I'm unofficially graduated from Temasek Polytechnic. Yes, this is the time I've been looking for. To end everything and be away from the East side. There are so many ups and downs during my 3 years of studies. Too many to share too lazy to jot it down here. Summary will do. :)
First and foremost, I'm sorry for keeping this humble blog of mine with dust and mites and etc. Been too busy with schools, fasting, personal life, social life and raya. Examinations has finally over and I hope I can pass all my modules with flying colors. To maintain GPA of 3 is so so so hard but well at least I tried. So far so good except for the MMNS paper. I answered it without even knowing what it is all about. But I do hope, I pass all my papers. Insyallah.
There are so many memories stored in my memory box. From year 1 to year 3 and I'm glad to say that I do enjoy the company of my classmates. They add colors to my poly life. Honestly, I do enjoy my year 1 days more than I enjoy it now. Because each and everyone of us has a secret which will remain it as a secret. I don't really enjoy year 2 that much because of the secret that I've kept so tightly only 2 people know about this. I don't really care if the others suspect anything because for what I know, it's over already. Why do I need to involve myself again? When come to year 3, people started to see changes in me while I see myself growing up. It's time to grow already. It's time to get myself on my feet and make my own decision already. It's time to show to them, what I want, what I need, what I like and what I don't like. There's no time to hide what I feel and when I don't show doesn't mean I'm losing out it's because I just can't be bothered anymore. Like now.
It's time to really grow up people. I had tons of fun and I'm sure, I'm gonna missed school. I'm gonna miss the fun, the laughter that we had. The gossips, the stupid things that we do together. Really. For those who helped me in so many things, I thanked you for that. Hope this friendship will last. Well even if we are not really close now, say Hi when you guys bumped into me. :)
And now, it's time for me to relax first. I will slowly think of a job that I really want to do. It's for the future and my reality starts now.
First and foremost, I'm sorry for keeping this humble blog of mine with dust and mites and etc. Been too busy with schools, fasting, personal life, social life and raya. Examinations has finally over and I hope I can pass all my modules with flying colors. To maintain GPA of 3 is so so so hard but well at least I tried. So far so good except for the MMNS paper. I answered it without even knowing what it is all about. But I do hope, I pass all my papers. Insyallah.
There are so many memories stored in my memory box. From year 1 to year 3 and I'm glad to say that I do enjoy the company of my classmates. They add colors to my poly life. Honestly, I do enjoy my year 1 days more than I enjoy it now. Because each and everyone of us has a secret which will remain it as a secret. I don't really enjoy year 2 that much because of the secret that I've kept so tightly only 2 people know about this. I don't really care if the others suspect anything because for what I know, it's over already. Why do I need to involve myself again? When come to year 3, people started to see changes in me while I see myself growing up. It's time to grow already. It's time to get myself on my feet and make my own decision already. It's time to show to them, what I want, what I need, what I like and what I don't like. There's no time to hide what I feel and when I don't show doesn't mean I'm losing out it's because I just can't be bothered anymore. Like now.
It's time to really grow up people. I had tons of fun and I'm sure, I'm gonna missed school. I'm gonna miss the fun, the laughter that we had. The gossips, the stupid things that we do together. Really. For those who helped me in so many things, I thanked you for that. Hope this friendship will last. Well even if we are not really close now, say Hi when you guys bumped into me. :)
And now, it's time for me to relax first. I will slowly think of a job that I really want to do. It's for the future and my reality starts now.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
You went over my limits
Today is the day where I feel extremely tired and sleepy and moody. All I want is some kind of peace and calm in me. There's no smile at all on my face. I know that if I'm tired, I will get cranky. I mean really cranky. So I expect people to either watch out whatever they gonna say or do or they will get from me. After yesterday, I am trying to calm down myself and whatever happened yesterday, we really talk things out and I believed it's over already. But then today, I'm too exhausted and this person tick me off and I explode.
Is it hard to show some respect to people who are elder than you? Is it hard to just say it nicely and politely? I've been hearing the same kind of words and directions not once but so many times and I have to keep quiet because I know, I must give in. But today, you went over your limits and treated me like I'm one of your students. I'm not your students and whatever you did to your student, please don't bring it back to home. Because I find it, you are not treating your family, your siblings right. Again, today, I tried to enjoy my own time, it's just on your bed and you shouted at me like that. I can be nice, like how I used to, I can keep quiet like how I used to, but not tonight. You picked the wrong date to be rude to me. Don't you realized, I've been tolerating your nonsense every time and you still don't learn about it? Don't you noticed my face? Don't you know what will happen to you if I started to get mad? No, you don't and tonight I've shown you that. I hope you like how I shouted straight to your face and how I threw your things away. I hope you like it.
Yeah, throw anything that you find and make faces at me. I don't care. Once a rude person always a rude person. Your attitude need to be change and I know, mom dad will never care about you being rude to me. That's why you can continue and treat me like your small kid. Continue that way and I will treat you the same thing. I've been tolerating, giving in and sometimes, keeping quiet for the longest time and yet you still haven't realize that. Am I a bad sister to you or is it because I'm still schooling and you have already working and you show the least respect at me?
I am truly upset and after I shouted at you, I can feel that my blood rise up and my heart is in pain now. No sorry. No nothing. Because you know that you always right and I'm always the wrong one. :'(
Nie baru pinjam katil, da kene tengking mcm aku nie adik2 dier. Belum lagi ade rumah sendiri. Nak datang agaknye kene halau jugak....... :'( :'( :'(
Is it hard to show some respect to people who are elder than you? Is it hard to just say it nicely and politely? I've been hearing the same kind of words and directions not once but so many times and I have to keep quiet because I know, I must give in. But today, you went over your limits and treated me like I'm one of your students. I'm not your students and whatever you did to your student, please don't bring it back to home. Because I find it, you are not treating your family, your siblings right. Again, today, I tried to enjoy my own time, it's just on your bed and you shouted at me like that. I can be nice, like how I used to, I can keep quiet like how I used to, but not tonight. You picked the wrong date to be rude to me. Don't you realized, I've been tolerating your nonsense every time and you still don't learn about it? Don't you noticed my face? Don't you know what will happen to you if I started to get mad? No, you don't and tonight I've shown you that. I hope you like how I shouted straight to your face and how I threw your things away. I hope you like it.
Yeah, throw anything that you find and make faces at me. I don't care. Once a rude person always a rude person. Your attitude need to be change and I know, mom dad will never care about you being rude to me. That's why you can continue and treat me like your small kid. Continue that way and I will treat you the same thing. I've been tolerating, giving in and sometimes, keeping quiet for the longest time and yet you still haven't realize that. Am I a bad sister to you or is it because I'm still schooling and you have already working and you show the least respect at me?
I am truly upset and after I shouted at you, I can feel that my blood rise up and my heart is in pain now. No sorry. No nothing. Because you know that you always right and I'm always the wrong one. :'(
Nie baru pinjam katil, da kene tengking mcm aku nie adik2 dier. Belum lagi ade rumah sendiri. Nak datang agaknye kene halau jugak....... :'( :'( :'(
Monday, July 23, 2012
Ciri ciri bakal suami
I have a dream: to have someone to hold me once we have already signed the legal paper. A husband.
It all started last year where I whispered in my heart saying, I want someone who can guide me along to the right path. Who can be my savior when I'm in trouble. I want someone who can be an imam for my family. Yes, I do believe in this statement my mom always said to me, "Perempuan yang baik2 adalah untuk lelaki yang baik2" I strongly believe that. My dream is to find someone who can hold my hand to Jannah. All I want is a husband who treat the wife right and accepting my family like how he accepted me to be his wife. He marry me not because of having the loves time on the bed but also to protect me. I want a husband who only care for his family but nothing else. I want a husband who are willing to share his bad news to me even if it is after working hours. I want him to advise me when I'm in wrong. Correct my mistake. Most importantly, he must have is fixing skills. Repair anything faulty things at home without even asking for help. :) And I want my husband to azan on our newborn child's ears. That's the most touching part ever. I want my baby to hear his dad's voice first thing when he come out from my womb. :')
It's just my dream and I want to live with someone who can actually will put my smile on my face even if I'm stress with work/kids/households chore etc. I want to respect him as my husband. And in my dream, I can see you. Holding our child while you azan him. Please make my dream come true dear god. Amin..... <3
So surprised to see that on my phone. <3
It all started last year where I whispered in my heart saying, I want someone who can guide me along to the right path. Who can be my savior when I'm in trouble. I want someone who can be an imam for my family. Yes, I do believe in this statement my mom always said to me, "Perempuan yang baik2 adalah untuk lelaki yang baik2" I strongly believe that. My dream is to find someone who can hold my hand to Jannah. All I want is a husband who treat the wife right and accepting my family like how he accepted me to be his wife. He marry me not because of having the loves time on the bed but also to protect me. I want a husband who only care for his family but nothing else. I want a husband who are willing to share his bad news to me even if it is after working hours. I want him to advise me when I'm in wrong. Correct my mistake. Most importantly, he must have is fixing skills. Repair anything faulty things at home without even asking for help. :) And I want my husband to azan on our newborn child's ears. That's the most touching part ever. I want my baby to hear his dad's voice first thing when he come out from my womb. :')
It's just my dream and I want to live with someone who can actually will put my smile on my face even if I'm stress with work/kids/households chore etc. I want to respect him as my husband. And in my dream, I can see you. Holding our child while you azan him. Please make my dream come true dear god. Amin..... <3
So surprised to see that on my phone. <3
Friday, July 20, 2012
Ramadhan 2012
Alhamdulilah, Ramadhan is here again and I thanked God for letting me breathe and stay alive to welcome this holy month. A month full of rahmah and let people taking their chance to repent and be close to HIM. This year, I want my ramadhan to be good than my previous years. It is impossible for me to fast the whole full month because I can't control it. But I do hope to get it this year. Insyallah. :)
Believe it or not, I'm done shopping for raya. I tell myself to avoid Geylang as far as possible. I'm not a fan of Geylang Serai and worst when come to Ramadhan, everyone will be there to either shop or breakfast or just walking around. I find it waste of time. I don't need to be there. This is why I shop before Ramadhan to avoid chaotic scene at Geylang. Seriously.
I told myself again to breakfast at home instead of breaking fast outside. Last Ramadhan, I was too busy to even breakfast at home. I spent my entire time in school till night time and I had no choice last time. Need to finish up my projects before the dateline .My worst regret, I didn't help my mom years ago. I ignore her while she's preparing the family for sahur. Maybe now, it's time to help her in the kitchen well not because of someone but because this is my responsibility and mom is no longer a strong woman like before. She sacrificed her sleeping time to just wake up and cooked for us if she can, why not me? Soon, I'm going to start a family and I have to learn to be like my mom. Dear mom, I'm sorry for not helping you with sahur. I will try my best to help you whenever I can. Insyallah. :')
I will be busy with projects this week onwards and will also busy with mugging for my quizes and exams which will happen during raya time. I think I'm not ready to graduate yet. So many things to do in so little time. Dear God, guide me through this. Amin. Amin. Amin.
Let's welcome Ramadhan with a peaceful heart and soul. :)
Believe it or not, I'm done shopping for raya. I tell myself to avoid Geylang as far as possible. I'm not a fan of Geylang Serai and worst when come to Ramadhan, everyone will be there to either shop or breakfast or just walking around. I find it waste of time. I don't need to be there. This is why I shop before Ramadhan to avoid chaotic scene at Geylang. Seriously.
I told myself again to breakfast at home instead of breaking fast outside. Last Ramadhan, I was too busy to even breakfast at home. I spent my entire time in school till night time and I had no choice last time. Need to finish up my projects before the dateline .My worst regret, I didn't help my mom years ago. I ignore her while she's preparing the family for sahur. Maybe now, it's time to help her in the kitchen well not because of someone but because this is my responsibility and mom is no longer a strong woman like before. She sacrificed her sleeping time to just wake up and cooked for us if she can, why not me? Soon, I'm going to start a family and I have to learn to be like my mom. Dear mom, I'm sorry for not helping you with sahur. I will try my best to help you whenever I can. Insyallah. :')
I will be busy with projects this week onwards and will also busy with mugging for my quizes and exams which will happen during raya time. I think I'm not ready to graduate yet. So many things to do in so little time. Dear God, guide me through this. Amin. Amin. Amin.
Let's welcome Ramadhan with a peaceful heart and soul. :)
My Stand
For years, I have never stand up for my own rights and it happened today. Because I don't want things to happen which will affect my grades. I had enough tolerating nonsense from him and today, I voiced out my decision. A decision of not going to group up with him again. This is my first time saying NO to someone when someone wanted me to be in his group. It's funney that the word just come out like that. I don't care if he thinks that I'm a bastard or what but for whatever reason, I just stick with my own decision and I'm proud of myself for standing up for myself. :)
I realized that it is possible for me to voice out anything which I'm not agree with because for years, I kept my mouth shut and have "whatever happens, happens" attitude. Now, I only care for people who are willing to put in effort but not those who are overly concern about themselves and become a free-"something-something" I forgot what it is.
Friends are friends but when come to work, I put aside friendship and ego. But when my ego is on top of my head, that's it, I will just heck care you and I will just think about myself only.
I think, my mom gonna be very proud of me because I am standing up for myself. :) I don't care if you hates me or what, for what I care, I have feelings too. I'm not robot. Or worst your PA. Thank you very the nice.
I realized that it is possible for me to voice out anything which I'm not agree with because for years, I kept my mouth shut and have "whatever happens, happens" attitude. Now, I only care for people who are willing to put in effort but not those who are overly concern about themselves and become a free-"something-something" I forgot what it is.
Friends are friends but when come to work, I put aside friendship and ego. But when my ego is on top of my head, that's it, I will just heck care you and I will just think about myself only.
I think, my mom gonna be very proud of me because I am standing up for myself. :) I don't care if you hates me or what, for what I care, I have feelings too. I'm not robot. Or worst your PA. Thank you very the nice.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Forget it
I thought I can handle everything by myself until the tears started to roll down on the cheeks slowly. I was at the helpless stage where I got no one to turn to but myself. I thought I was strong but I was wrong about myself. I can't handle it. Every year, this thoughts and feelings will just stuck into my head and left a mark behind and I will cry. I have to handle the same kind of situation by myself and honestly, I am tired of handling this.
It all started by a story; a same kind of story which had happened to me 3 years back. Slowly, memories of the past came to my mind and I became paranoid of my own act. I am not a good person. I throw tantrums. I use vulgar when I'm angry. I am a rude person. But this rude person wants to change for a better but everytime she wants to maintain the coolness, there's always situation where she will get mad, really mad. I'm just paranoid that one day, I will just throw my tantrums and say something hurtful to someone close to my heart. I just don't want that to happen to my current one. =/
I cannot handle this situation by myself but at the same time, I don't want to share this situation to anyone else because it is all about my past. No one will understand this. I can't put it in sentences and explain it to them. It is hard for me to open my mouth to tell how I feel.
Dear god, please give me strength to overcome this. Every year I have to deal with this and I am tired of it already. I don't want to think about this anymore. Look back at my archive on 26 June 2011. What happened to me that time is happening to me again this year. I will never forget.
I'm sorry, if I'm such a burden to you. Life is hard without technology. Life is hard to be not able to share stories. My good news, my bad news. Life is too hard without any positive thinking. Ahh, when will this thing going to end? :'(
Forget it, will you....?
It all started by a story; a same kind of story which had happened to me 3 years back. Slowly, memories of the past came to my mind and I became paranoid of my own act. I am not a good person. I throw tantrums. I use vulgar when I'm angry. I am a rude person. But this rude person wants to change for a better but everytime she wants to maintain the coolness, there's always situation where she will get mad, really mad. I'm just paranoid that one day, I will just throw my tantrums and say something hurtful to someone close to my heart. I just don't want that to happen to my current one. =/
I cannot handle this situation by myself but at the same time, I don't want to share this situation to anyone else because it is all about my past. No one will understand this. I can't put it in sentences and explain it to them. It is hard for me to open my mouth to tell how I feel.
Dear god, please give me strength to overcome this. Every year I have to deal with this and I am tired of it already. I don't want to think about this anymore. Look back at my archive on 26 June 2011. What happened to me that time is happening to me again this year. I will never forget.
I'm sorry, if I'm such a burden to you. Life is hard without technology. Life is hard to be not able to share stories. My good news, my bad news. Life is too hard without any positive thinking. Ahh, when will this thing going to end? :'(
Forget it, will you....?
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Secrets
I have secrets which only certain people will get to know this. I've been keeping a lot of secrets and I used to tell it on my personal diaries. I still keep it and when I'm bored I will read it. I jotted down of what I feel, of who I had a crushed with and everything. I missed jotting down my own thought in the diary but as I get older, I am so lazy to jot down everything.
Some secrets I will share but not all secrets can be shared to people. There are one secret that I kept for 5 years. No one knows this except for one friend who she guessed it for herself. So exclude that. Until now, I don't have any urge to tell to anyone even though it's been 5 years. Sometimes, not all stories are need to be told. I've decided to keep it inside my heart and let it be a secret for the rest of my life.
Believe it or not, I'm a woman with a few words. Words like, confessions, telling someone secrets, sharing my own personal stories etc etc.. Usually, I will listen instead of telling them the stories. Whatever happen between me and my personal life, I shall keep it a secret.
All the old secrets I will just bury it in my heart because it is no longer important to me. I rather bury it than telling it to someone who are dear to me. My family members doesn't know me and my secrets. Only close friends know it. I shall not elaborate it anymore.
Only God knows every single things that is/was happening in my life. There's noway for me to hide secrets from Him.
Some secrets I will share but not all secrets can be shared to people. There are one secret that I kept for 5 years. No one knows this except for one friend who she guessed it for herself. So exclude that. Until now, I don't have any urge to tell to anyone even though it's been 5 years. Sometimes, not all stories are need to be told. I've decided to keep it inside my heart and let it be a secret for the rest of my life.
Believe it or not, I'm a woman with a few words. Words like, confessions, telling someone secrets, sharing my own personal stories etc etc.. Usually, I will listen instead of telling them the stories. Whatever happen between me and my personal life, I shall keep it a secret.
All the old secrets I will just bury it in my heart because it is no longer important to me. I rather bury it than telling it to someone who are dear to me. My family members doesn't know me and my secrets. Only close friends know it. I shall not elaborate it anymore.
Only God knows every single things that is/was happening in my life. There's noway for me to hide secrets from Him.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Untitled part...
This week was so so hectic that I have to vent my anger on twitter just to get my job done. How pathetic can this be. Judging finally over. If you know what is judging well, it's for my major project and we have to demo infront of 2 lecturers. My partner, Veera and I were so so scared to demo because we just don't know how to explain the coding part to them. But so far so good, we didn't know that they can joke around with us while trying to explain our website to them. Haha. I just hope that we get a good marks because this Major project consists of 12 CU. I really need to pull up my grades this semester. Really. I have to maintain it at GPA of 3!
Some people doesn't know the word, "working as a team". When the project requires you to work as a team, I expect to work it as a team. If you can't do the hard part well at least complete the simple part. But both the hard part and the simple part you can't even do, I think, it's better if I complete everything by myself. Seriously. Don't tell me you are tired if you did not put in enough effort to complete a simple task. I can't simply tell you what to do because I am not your leader. I am not someone who loves to order people for his/her part. I expect you to tell me what you can do, but nothing. I heard nothing. And when I explode, that's the time you want to start to do everything. Seriously, this is not the attitude I'm looking for in a group. I'm tired of chasing people who can't do and expect everything gonna be "serve" right on your "plate". Don't be a fool because I am not like that anymore. I will explode and call me anything because I seriously want to pull up my GPA. Yes, I am gonna be selfish from now on wards. Just can't be bothered if you have any activities outside school. I have my social life too but this is how you organised your work. Just use some brains to get everything fix, please.
It's hard to contact the boyfriend now. All I can do now is to wait for him to get back home, and text me. I don't want to say anything about what has happened to his phone. All I can do now is to be patience. Patience is a virtue, they say. No matter how hard life is, no matter how cruel life is, I have to be very patience. Money is not an issue now, it's "I don't have money" is an issue for both of us. I don't need any luxury in relationship. All I need is the loves, the concern from him towards me. That's all I can ask for. Luxury, maybe not now, I can earn my own luxury when I have my own money. In relationship, it is not about YOU, ME. It's about US. Put aside the ego and everything gonna be so so fine. I'm not good in this but I've learnt a lot ever since I'm in a relationship with the dearest. He thought me a lot of things and all I can say is Alhamdulilah. :') I just hope and pray that our relationship will be going on as smooth as this. Amin.
I end my blog with,
I wanna run away baby, you're the one I need tonight, no promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms here tonight....
Some people doesn't know the word, "working as a team". When the project requires you to work as a team, I expect to work it as a team. If you can't do the hard part well at least complete the simple part. But both the hard part and the simple part you can't even do, I think, it's better if I complete everything by myself. Seriously. Don't tell me you are tired if you did not put in enough effort to complete a simple task. I can't simply tell you what to do because I am not your leader. I am not someone who loves to order people for his/her part. I expect you to tell me what you can do, but nothing. I heard nothing. And when I explode, that's the time you want to start to do everything. Seriously, this is not the attitude I'm looking for in a group. I'm tired of chasing people who can't do and expect everything gonna be "serve" right on your "plate". Don't be a fool because I am not like that anymore. I will explode and call me anything because I seriously want to pull up my GPA. Yes, I am gonna be selfish from now on wards. Just can't be bothered if you have any activities outside school. I have my social life too but this is how you organised your work. Just use some brains to get everything fix, please.
It's hard to contact the boyfriend now. All I can do now is to wait for him to get back home, and text me. I don't want to say anything about what has happened to his phone. All I can do now is to be patience. Patience is a virtue, they say. No matter how hard life is, no matter how cruel life is, I have to be very patience. Money is not an issue now, it's "I don't have money" is an issue for both of us. I don't need any luxury in relationship. All I need is the loves, the concern from him towards me. That's all I can ask for. Luxury, maybe not now, I can earn my own luxury when I have my own money. In relationship, it is not about YOU, ME. It's about US. Put aside the ego and everything gonna be so so fine. I'm not good in this but I've learnt a lot ever since I'm in a relationship with the dearest. He thought me a lot of things and all I can say is Alhamdulilah. :') I just hope and pray that our relationship will be going on as smooth as this. Amin.
I end my blog with,
I wanna run away baby, you're the one I need tonight, no promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms here tonight....
Sunday, June 17, 2012
My experienced
I've never watch any sports competition before except for soccer well, that one is excluded because that was a friendly match and not a real thing one. Well, yesterday, I did. I witnessed a silat competition and I swear if I didn't go yesterday, I wouldn't have known that Silat competition did exist. Heh. And actually, I'm not into watching these kind of sports or any cultural thing cause for me, I got nothing to do there. Unless, I like sports or anything, tu lain cerita.
But yesterday was different thing. I didn't go there for "just for the sake of going there" but because I want to witness my love competing with the club which many of the silat supporters doesn't like them too much. Politics. Like as if I care? I only care that my boyfriend can go to finals. And yes, he managed to go through to the finals. Alhamdulilah. The way he moved and the way he attacked his opponent was so good even the other clubs were cheering at him. I swear again, that the stadium was so so chaotic with some pakciks and makciks kept on swearing at the carefree. I don't know refree or careferee? Haha. But me, as a girlfriend of course felt some kind of pressure because everyone wanted him to beat his opponent. I was a bit annoyed when that opponent bang him outside the ring. My anger rose up and the good thing was, I didn't say any vulgarities and I kept on watching him and baaappppp, the opponent went down. And so when the "juri" put up the blue flag, everyone kept on shouting and screaming and cheering and me, WOHOOOOO!!! :D
Only god knows how I felt yesterday. Well, maybe I don't know how the rules work but I am very very happy that he actually made it to the finals. If I could hugged him yesterday I could but ouh well, he was wet and sweaty and smelly. HAHAHA. Kidding. I am very very proud of him. It was my first time watching him compete and supporting him and I witnessed the glory. I can see the happiness in his eyes. I can see, he was very very happy. So am I. <3
Too bad that I can't watch him today. How pathetic. But again, I received a good news from him saying he got the gold medal and again, alhamdulilah, I am very proud of him. Seriously. :D :D :D
Dearest dear, I know you can do it. I know you can. Next will be IVP and insyaallah, I will be there for you again alright. :')
I want to be that woman behind her successful man. :')
Monday, June 4, 2012
Untitled
Sometimes, in order to achieve something, you got to put in effort. Because when you achieve it eventually, you will feel the satisfaction. This effort here is not about cheating but you really studied for it. I don't know how others can really study on the day the test day itself. Maybe their memories are super fast which can absorb a lot of formulas and some theory stuffs.
For me, what I'll always do is to stay quiet and be prepare for the test. When people asked me question, I'll answer based on what I've learn. I just can't handle last minutes discussion or last minute information into my head. That will be such a disaster. I'll get confuse and I can go blank straightaway. That's why, I wonder how, these people can study at a very last minute. Hmm.
This week is the term test week and all the best to all my fellow classmates. This will be our very last term test and after that exams and after that graduation day. We have been together for 3 years and there's always ups and downs. Like and hatred. Me become more more and vulgar. 3 years, since Oct 2009 till now... we must chiong for this and let's leave all those people who will be stuck in school for how many years/months, I don't want to know. As long as I know, I'm out from school. :D
Anways, I'll be leaving SG again for a vacation from Friday till Tuesday. I'll be leaving him all alone. I'll be single again for only 5 days and I wish, I can find a replacement.... NOT. Hahaha. Of course no. He will be having his silat competiton this weekend and all I can do is to pray that he can qualify to the final round. :) Amin insyaallah. While me, having family bonding together. It's been years since we last have a short vacation. The last time we went for this short holiday when I was 16 years old. Just pray for me that I'll leave and come back to SG safely.
Sometimes, I just feel, I just want to get out of here for good. I just want to migrate. I just want to spend my time with the nature....but I know I can't.
For me, what I'll always do is to stay quiet and be prepare for the test. When people asked me question, I'll answer based on what I've learn. I just can't handle last minutes discussion or last minute information into my head. That will be such a disaster. I'll get confuse and I can go blank straightaway. That's why, I wonder how, these people can study at a very last minute. Hmm.
This week is the term test week and all the best to all my fellow classmates. This will be our very last term test and after that exams and after that graduation day. We have been together for 3 years and there's always ups and downs. Like and hatred. Me become more more and vulgar. 3 years, since Oct 2009 till now... we must chiong for this and let's leave all those people who will be stuck in school for how many years/months, I don't want to know. As long as I know, I'm out from school. :D
Anways, I'll be leaving SG again for a vacation from Friday till Tuesday. I'll be leaving him all alone. I'll be single again for only 5 days and I wish, I can find a replacement.... NOT. Hahaha. Of course no. He will be having his silat competiton this weekend and all I can do is to pray that he can qualify to the final round. :) Amin insyaallah. While me, having family bonding together. It's been years since we last have a short vacation. The last time we went for this short holiday when I was 16 years old. Just pray for me that I'll leave and come back to SG safely.
Sometimes, I just feel, I just want to get out of here for good. I just want to migrate. I just want to spend my time with the nature....but I know I can't.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Grey and Dark
Dear God, please forgive me for what I've done.
Protect me from the whisper of evil.
Please give me iman and show me the correct path for me to walk.
Please protect this relationship.
Because I just love him as much as I love myself. Because I don't want to live in regrets.
Thank God, that I realized this......
Protect me from the whisper of evil.
Please give me iman and show me the correct path for me to walk.
Please protect this relationship.
Because I just love him as much as I love myself. Because I don't want to live in regrets.
Thank God, that I realized this......
Friday, May 25, 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
You Missed me?
I'm sorry for the late updates. I was too engrossed with my new sexy phone, S2 till I got no time to update this precious blog of mine. Well, to my Mr, please update your dusty blog too, cause I'm interested in whatever you blog. *winks*
Anws, life have been so so good. Now everyone is busy with their schedules. More to come for mine. Just last week, I have to stay back to study in school with the friends since Quiz is coming this week. Mind you, 3 quizzes. How to survive like this? Sigh much. I need to sit down and really study and write some notes. I just need to do that alone without any distraction. Well, Insyaallah, I will make time for my study time ok. I can only study in school or outside my house. :) I know I can do it just that I need to discipline myself.
Put aside that, my relationship is good and insyallah it will turn out to be great. Honestly, I've never been so happy like this. He can make my day. He can be so annoying but I kept falling hard on him. In love again and again. Alhamdulilah. Though there's some days I can be very bad and mean to him but at the end of the day, he can tolerate my nonsense. Tell me, which relationship doesn't undergoes this? There will be always one time you just need his special attention towards you. You can be selfish. You can be that 'girl who doesn't understand' type of a girl but what matters the most was to talk things out with your partner. Putting aside your ego and everything gonna fall into places again. Trust me. I had enough of arguments. I had enough of not being good with someone I love and it's time to change. I want to change for myself for my happiness not because he said so. Just imagine, if I'm the type who always controlled him but at the same time, I don't want him to control me and that was so so unfair. I'm not being fair with him. I'm just selfish. No. I don't want to repeat my same mistakes like in my previous relationship. Maybe I didn't trust the old him like how I trust my bf. I have to compare between you and him. I think, it was a mistake to be in love with him. Till my heart broke into pieces. There's a scar in my heart, but my bf heal it with his love. He did not said "I love you" for free like that, he proved it to me that he really really loves me. He respected me. He is just so awesome. I regard him not only my boyfriend but my as my best friend as well. I can share, I can talk anything that I want with him without being tired of it. Hey you, I love you more and more every seconds, minutes and time. :D
"Dear Khairi, can I keep you?"
Anws, life have been so so good. Now everyone is busy with their schedules. More to come for mine. Just last week, I have to stay back to study in school with the friends since Quiz is coming this week. Mind you, 3 quizzes. How to survive like this? Sigh much. I need to sit down and really study and write some notes. I just need to do that alone without any distraction. Well, Insyaallah, I will make time for my study time ok. I can only study in school or outside my house. :) I know I can do it just that I need to discipline myself.
Put aside that, my relationship is good and insyallah it will turn out to be great. Honestly, I've never been so happy like this. He can make my day. He can be so annoying but I kept falling hard on him. In love again and again. Alhamdulilah. Though there's some days I can be very bad and mean to him but at the end of the day, he can tolerate my nonsense. Tell me, which relationship doesn't undergoes this? There will be always one time you just need his special attention towards you. You can be selfish. You can be that 'girl who doesn't understand' type of a girl but what matters the most was to talk things out with your partner. Putting aside your ego and everything gonna fall into places again. Trust me. I had enough of arguments. I had enough of not being good with someone I love and it's time to change. I want to change for myself for my happiness not because he said so. Just imagine, if I'm the type who always controlled him but at the same time, I don't want him to control me and that was so so unfair. I'm not being fair with him. I'm just selfish. No. I don't want to repeat my same mistakes like in my previous relationship. Maybe I didn't trust the old him like how I trust my bf. I have to compare between you and him. I think, it was a mistake to be in love with him. Till my heart broke into pieces. There's a scar in my heart, but my bf heal it with his love. He did not said "I love you" for free like that, he proved it to me that he really really loves me. He respected me. He is just so awesome. I regard him not only my boyfriend but my as my best friend as well. I can share, I can talk anything that I want with him without being tired of it. Hey you, I love you more and more every seconds, minutes and time. :D
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
After a year and 23 months of using my E72, I've finally decided to change to a new phone. Welcoming Galaxy S2 white chick. Hehe. In love with the phone although it cost me a bomb but I don't care as long as I know that I'm gonna use it for a long run. :) Ouh yes, upgraded my plan with SmartSurf 100 and recontract it as a student plan. How can I not happy? :) So now, my bf and I have the same phone and let's regard it as a couple phone maybe? It's easier since we can WhatsApping with each other instead of texting using the normal sms which will cause him a bomb also. :)
I just don't know what to blog about as my eyes now are getting heavier and heavier. I am so sleepy why? Because I didn't sleep after subuh till now. All thanks to my S2 for keeping me company and kept myself busy customizing the apps and changing of themes etc.
Just so you know, I don't give a damn if you don't like my attitude. I don't give a damn if you want to make faces at me or talk behind my back. I don't give a damn about everything. If you can't take my joke, you can just die of boredom cause you don't have life. Lain kali, takmo ckp orng nie suke merajuk lah, cari pasal lah. Kan terkene ngn batang hidung sendiri. -.-" Whatever it is, I'm not Linda who you used to know. *winks*
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
:)
- The one who always nagged at me when I don't want to sleep at night.
- The one who will finished up my unfinished meals.
- The one who will kiss my tudung instead of my cheeks/forhead.
- The one who will smile shyly when I know that he's just so sweet.
- The one who will whisper to my ears that he loves me.
- The one who will comfort me to make me feels better.
- The one who loves to annoy me.
- The one who will pinch my arms and my cheeks and will "geram sendiri"
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Mobile Communication
It is so awkward to see that blogger has a new interface. So much serious and I feel so weird. HAHA. Ok, Anw, Hello Wednesday! Guess what? I am not schooling today but I find this time a precious one because I can go and have my own personal time besides dating and stuffs. :D
Let me talk about Mobile Communication. This is the module that I have to take and I find it interesting because it is more about phones and how they make it working. I don't understand why many people doesn't like this module. All they can say is because there too many formulas to remember. Well, if you study smart for it, you can achieve it. They keep on complaining that this is hard. I can help, if they need my help. I always help them. Yesterday, this brain is about to crack when the teacher go through with us about converting dBm to Watts. Absolute value formula and so on and so forth. Interesting. I just love to calculate.
In this module, you need to pair up with someone to do research, powerpoint and do report writing for another country. I don't know who to choose for my group but I don't mind anyone except he/she can do the work. So, Umamah asking me if we can can be partners and all I can say is sembarang. So my first group mate for this semester will be Umamah. I hope this guy can do his work and please, I hate to chase him to do work. To do work. Well I will. I chose the country and tadaaaa, we will be researching for Malaysia's fixed lines and cellular network. *winks* Hopefully, we can work this thing together.
Alright, timecheck is 12:46PM and I have to get ready now for something. :D Meeting my bf later for a quality time together. I missed him so much and I know he missed me too but more than me. :) See ya later, honey.
Let me talk about Mobile Communication. This is the module that I have to take and I find it interesting because it is more about phones and how they make it working. I don't understand why many people doesn't like this module. All they can say is because there too many formulas to remember. Well, if you study smart for it, you can achieve it. They keep on complaining that this is hard. I can help, if they need my help. I always help them. Yesterday, this brain is about to crack when the teacher go through with us about converting dBm to Watts. Absolute value formula and so on and so forth. Interesting. I just love to calculate.
In this module, you need to pair up with someone to do research, powerpoint and do report writing for another country. I don't know who to choose for my group but I don't mind anyone except he/she can do the work. So, Umamah asking me if we can can be partners and all I can say is sembarang. So my first group mate for this semester will be Umamah. I hope this guy can do his work and please, I hate to chase him to do work. To do work. Well I will. I chose the country and tadaaaa, we will be researching for Malaysia's fixed lines and cellular network. *winks* Hopefully, we can work this thing together.
Alright, timecheck is 12:46PM and I have to get ready now for something. :D Meeting my bf later for a quality time together. I missed him so much and I know he missed me too but more than me. :) See ya later, honey.
Monday, April 23, 2012
1st Day of school
First day of school and people around me said I have a sleepy eyes. Ahem, school started at 12pm and ends at 4pm today. I dragged my feet to school and boy, so many unfamiliar looking faces around me. All are my freshies and my juniors. Ouh well, the feeling of being a senior in the school is kind of awesome. Walk around at the school compound like a boss. :D But I bet the people around me also don't give a damn about me cause when I walked around, I don't really like to see people. *shrug* Jalan menonong aje.
Brought back 2 books. Mobile Comm and Career Comm book. I'm more interested in Mobile Comm cause there's calculation and I love calculation. But I'm afraid that this brain cannot calculate anymore. It's been months since I calculate things like that. Wow. I don't know about the other few modules. It will be more of a networking type of studies. I love it. Eversince ITE, networking is the best. Siapa mahu layan codings2 programming2 segalak?! Pfft. I hope I can really study and pass all my modules. I tak nk lah confident sgt cause tahap kelazyness aku nie mcm da rabak. HAHA. Ok, why do I sound so minah here? Hmm. Anw, I will concentrate more and get distracted less.
I need to get new smartphone before the guys in my class talk about NOKIA here and there cause I'm the only soul in the group who is still using NOKIA. Since I'm learning about mobile communication bla bla bla, I must get my smartphone fast. LOL. :D
My bf was such a pot pet pot pet just now. But I still love him though. :) <3
"Ah tu lah dier pandai, degil tapi masih boleh ckp, tapi awak sayang saya kan?" -BF-
Brought back 2 books. Mobile Comm and Career Comm book. I'm more interested in Mobile Comm cause there's calculation and I love calculation. But I'm afraid that this brain cannot calculate anymore. It's been months since I calculate things like that. Wow. I don't know about the other few modules. It will be more of a networking type of studies. I love it. Eversince ITE, networking is the best. Siapa mahu layan codings2 programming2 segalak?! Pfft. I hope I can really study and pass all my modules. I tak nk lah confident sgt cause tahap kelazyness aku nie mcm da rabak. HAHA. Ok, why do I sound so minah here? Hmm. Anw, I will concentrate more and get distracted less.
I need to get new smartphone before the guys in my class talk about NOKIA here and there cause I'm the only soul in the group who is still using NOKIA. Since I'm learning about mobile communication bla bla bla, I must get my smartphone fast. LOL. :D
My bf was such a pot pet pot pet just now. But I still love him though. :) <3
"Ah tu lah dier pandai, degil tapi masih boleh ckp, tapi awak sayang saya kan?" -BF-
Friday, April 20, 2012
Timetable
Woke up in the morning yesterday and straightaway checked my timetable for my very last semester. Yeayman, I'm happy with my timetable! :D No school on Wednesday and ouh well as usual, self-declare holiday for Fridays. :) The best and awesome thing is that, I don't have to wake up as early as 515am everyday for school. Monday and Tuesday, I'll start school at 12pm and ends at 4pm for Monday and 3pm for Tuesday. Thursday gonna be a longggg day. Starts school at 9am and ends at 5pm. Ouh well. Gotta chiong for our final semester and we're done! :) Although, I kind of lazy to travel. I wish I have bike.
Anw, thank you boyfriend for getting my craving fulfilled. A sudden craving for masala thosai and I got it yesterday. We had a late lunch over at Tekka Market and I had my thosai and he had his briyani. It was delicious especially when he fed me the briyani with his hand. Hehe. Ahh melting. *blush* So after that, accompany him do his RJ and quiz and we're done for the day. I missed him now. I don't know when can we get to meet like that again. Never get tired or bored when he's around. Never! I just love him, the way he is. Fullstop. :)
Anw, thank you boyfriend for getting my craving fulfilled. A sudden craving for masala thosai and I got it yesterday. We had a late lunch over at Tekka Market and I had my thosai and he had his briyani. It was delicious especially when he fed me the briyani with his hand. Hehe. Ahh melting. *blush* So after that, accompany him do his RJ and quiz and we're done for the day. I missed him now. I don't know when can we get to meet like that again. Never get tired or bored when he's around. Never! I just love him, the way he is. Fullstop. :)
Monday, April 16, 2012
Hey, I'm a Girl
Who say being a girl is so easy?
Who say being a girl their job is to shop using their spouse's money?
Who say being a girl and their job is to complain here and there?
Let me tell you this, being a girl is so not easy as many of the guys that I know think.
We girls, have to fight for the menses cramp for every month and this cramp I tell you is not like me having a leg cramp. It is more likely to have your stomach being stabbed like so many times. I admit, this is the worst menses cramp ever. I never had this kind of menses cramp before and what happened today was really a painful one. I swear I feel like fainting. I swear I feel so so weak to even sit up straight. So this why, when girls having her period, please please don't make her pissed off cause she can really get really mad dealing with the cramp and at the same time the people who making her pissed off. It is not easy being a girl. Having been said that, it's ok to have menses cramp as long as you know that you are having a period and thank god you are not pregnant. Heh.
Boyfriend wanted to meet me after school just now(his first day of school today :)) and I'm sorry for not being able to meet him because of my cramp. I can't even walk to the kitchen to make a hot drink for myself. And in the end took a power nap from 4 till 8pm. I might as well go back to sleep right? In order to make the cramp subside, I used one big pillow and one thick comforter and place it on top of my stomach to feel the warm. I got this tips from 3R, if you watched this talk show about girls. So yeah, alhamdulilah, the cramp really subsided.
So guys, please understand how the girls feel when they are having period. It's only menses period, we still need to go through delivery of baby and I don't want to think about it. It's just. Painful.
Who say being a girl their job is to shop using their spouse's money?
Who say being a girl and their job is to complain here and there?
Let me tell you this, being a girl is so not easy as many of the guys that I know think.
We girls, have to fight for the menses cramp for every month and this cramp I tell you is not like me having a leg cramp. It is more likely to have your stomach being stabbed like so many times. I admit, this is the worst menses cramp ever. I never had this kind of menses cramp before and what happened today was really a painful one. I swear I feel like fainting. I swear I feel so so weak to even sit up straight. So this why, when girls having her period, please please don't make her pissed off cause she can really get really mad dealing with the cramp and at the same time the people who making her pissed off. It is not easy being a girl. Having been said that, it's ok to have menses cramp as long as you know that you are having a period and thank god you are not pregnant. Heh.
Boyfriend wanted to meet me after school just now(his first day of school today :)) and I'm sorry for not being able to meet him because of my cramp. I can't even walk to the kitchen to make a hot drink for myself. And in the end took a power nap from 4 till 8pm. I might as well go back to sleep right? In order to make the cramp subside, I used one big pillow and one thick comforter and place it on top of my stomach to feel the warm. I got this tips from 3R, if you watched this talk show about girls. So yeah, alhamdulilah, the cramp really subsided.
So guys, please understand how the girls feel when they are having period. It's only menses period, we still need to go through delivery of baby and I don't want to think about it. It's just. Painful.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Your Choice
You ca be happy. You can be sad. It's up to you. It's your choice. But when the same guy keep hurting your feelings and yet you still contacting him, what you called that? A friend? A tanya-khabar-type of friend? My arse. -.-" Come on, he's the type who cannot see you being so happy with another guy. A year ago, you and another guy, what he did? He snatched you back and after that, he dumped you and go for another girl. I find it irritating because I was there when you need me. I was there when you cried for helped. And whatever advise, I know you won't listen to me. Why, because you still contacting with him.
After a year, when you are happy with another guy, yet he dumped that girl and wanted to contact you back. And you still layankan him and make urself stress? Come on girl, you have brain and you have feelings, why can't you use that brain of yours and ignore him for once? You won't die if you don't want to reply him right? It's his loss not yours. He's trying to snatch you back and history will repeat itself again. I'm just so so angry when I got to know that you still contacting BACK to him. Ape, dia da takde perempuan, dia cari kau? Lepas tu senang2 dia buang kau mcm gitu? Mcm tissue? Senang dpt? Perangai tak ubah mcm arghh, geram!
Well, I don't want to interfere anymore. I don't want to see you stress because of one pathetic childish guy who will never learn his lesson. No, you should learn your lesson. I'm worried. I know you too well. I'm worried you ditched Charizard and go back with that Bastard and with his sweet talks (mulut serupa mcm longkang) and all that, I'm sure you will fall for him yet again. Please girl, get your brain working for once. I know what type of a guy is this guy is. This is why, I'm worried. I love you so much, but with you contacting him back, I'm not surprise lah eh. Seriously.
I pray that you will know which guy is good for you and which guy is not. Da bye.
After a year, when you are happy with another guy, yet he dumped that girl and wanted to contact you back. And you still layankan him and make urself stress? Come on girl, you have brain and you have feelings, why can't you use that brain of yours and ignore him for once? You won't die if you don't want to reply him right? It's his loss not yours. He's trying to snatch you back and history will repeat itself again. I'm just so so angry when I got to know that you still contacting BACK to him. Ape, dia da takde perempuan, dia cari kau? Lepas tu senang2 dia buang kau mcm gitu? Mcm tissue? Senang dpt? Perangai tak ubah mcm arghh, geram!
Well, I don't want to interfere anymore. I don't want to see you stress because of one pathetic childish guy who will never learn his lesson. No, you should learn your lesson. I'm worried. I know you too well. I'm worried you ditched Charizard and go back with that Bastard and with his sweet talks (mulut serupa mcm longkang) and all that, I'm sure you will fall for him yet again. Please girl, get your brain working for once. I know what type of a guy is this guy is. This is why, I'm worried. I love you so much, but with you contacting him back, I'm not surprise lah eh. Seriously.
I pray that you will know which guy is good for you and which guy is not. Da bye.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
You calm me
I'm such a sentimental person. I treasured and appreciate every little things that was given by someone whom I love a lot. I treasured my own things which I bought using my own moolahs. But once it lost or broken, I'll get sad. Just like my heart. It is so fragile to handle and once broken, everything gonna be change.
Firstly, I am very angry to get to know about my headphone. Until now, the stupid people in-charge haven't call me yet to update me about my faulty headphone. 2 months already leh. How can I be that patience? Somemore, it is under warranty and they should just like give me the new one instead of finding the spare part of my headphone. I bet the spare part will not going to be last long. Trust me. I need my headphone before school reopen. -.-" Such a bummer.
Secondly, my favorite bangle given by my bf snapped in front of him just like that. I'm just so sad. Now my wrist felt so empty. Really empty. I need that. I need that on my wrist.
Thirdly, I've been thinking a lot and the past came creeping into my mind slowly and I teared. I'm scared. Really scared it gonna happened again. I don't want to think about my past but it came and I can't help it but to cry. Trust. It is hard to earn someone's trust but when it's broken, that's it. I trust my boyfriend. I trust my instinct. But I hate the voice inside me. The "bisikkan syaitan"
The moment he knew that I cried. The moment that he knew that I need him, he calmed me down. I don't care if there's no words from him, all I want is him, just by my side listening to my whining. Maybe because I bottled up whatever I feel by myself. I did not share this to anybody. Not even to my bf until I explode. I'm sorry. He was there when I need him and I know he will be there when I need him. I thanked him for loving me, for being there and for the words to cheer me up. :')
The most important thing was the straw. You know, I know. How can I not love this annoying bf of mine? Geram.
Firstly, I am very angry to get to know about my headphone. Until now, the stupid people in-charge haven't call me yet to update me about my faulty headphone. 2 months already leh. How can I be that patience? Somemore, it is under warranty and they should just like give me the new one instead of finding the spare part of my headphone. I bet the spare part will not going to be last long. Trust me. I need my headphone before school reopen. -.-" Such a bummer.
Secondly, my favorite bangle given by my bf snapped in front of him just like that. I'm just so sad. Now my wrist felt so empty. Really empty. I need that. I need that on my wrist.
Thirdly, I've been thinking a lot and the past came creeping into my mind slowly and I teared. I'm scared. Really scared it gonna happened again. I don't want to think about my past but it came and I can't help it but to cry. Trust. It is hard to earn someone's trust but when it's broken, that's it. I trust my boyfriend. I trust my instinct. But I hate the voice inside me. The "bisikkan syaitan"
The moment he knew that I cried. The moment that he knew that I need him, he calmed me down. I don't care if there's no words from him, all I want is him, just by my side listening to my whining. Maybe because I bottled up whatever I feel by myself. I did not share this to anybody. Not even to my bf until I explode. I'm sorry. He was there when I need him and I know he will be there when I need him. I thanked him for loving me, for being there and for the words to cheer me up. :')
The most important thing was the straw. You know, I know. How can I not love this annoying bf of mine? Geram.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Genting Day 1-4
It was my very first holiday trip with friends and I hope, I can have another trip with my good friends next time. Insyaallah.
From 8 people to 7 people to be exact. Just the 5 guys and including me, 2 girls. The trip went well, we took WTS coach which went by the Second link and to be frank, I love 2nd link because the Q isn't that long like at Woodlands Checkpoint. Save time and save energy.
On the first day before we even departed, it was raining cats and dogs with thunder and lightning. Wooo, it was scarry. The coach left the place at exactly at 615am and it took us like few minutes to settle down inside the bus. Ouh boy, it was cold. There were only two pittstop for us to buy breakfast and another was to let us do our business. From Singapore to Genting, it took us about 5hours to reach there. The place was so beautiful with fogs and more fogs as we went up. It was raining there and it was super cold when we opened our mouth there's fog and we went jakun. LOL. Our hotel was the First World Hotel and we get the 2nd highest level and I can see mountains after mountains and just a tiny road. It was mesmerising. :) Once we settle down and got our room we put our bag and get ready for lunch. Nothing much on the first day. Just photo taking session and have our very late lunch over at Pizza Factory. It was yummeh. Night time, we played bowling and I thought I was at the club. They on the music and I can't even hear myself ok. We had fun. Night time, we slack at Starbucks to get myself a hot chocolate and get free Wi-fi to check on my twitter. As usual. :D
Second Day, we went down to Kuala Lumpur to shop. Just imagine we went there from 10am till 930pm. We went Sungei Wang, Central Market, Petaling Street and back to Sungei Wang to shop till our feet feels like jelly. It was tiring day and our dinner was from Subway and yes, it was delicious! I want subway again! :D Back in the hotel, had our late dinner and bang, slept like there's no tomorrow. ZZZZ.
Third Day, Genting Theme Park which I thought gonna be exciting but nah, it was such a disappointment. Like seriously. The only thing that was really scary was the Space Shot ride. I took it once and that's it. Enough. The roller coaster and some rides was closed due to maintenance. My mood went down slowly and night time, they played bowling again I was like "what the f?" AGAIN. Not feeling well and I almost vomitted while on the way back to our room. I'm shagged and tired and day 3 was the most boring night ever. -.-"
Day 4, The last day. Packed our bag,check out and off to Sunway Lagoon by taking the cable car. We reached Sunway Lagoon at 12pm and we only have few hours before we need to get change and back took bus from there back to SG. The first ride was the Go Kart. 2nd we took ATV, ATV, the best experience ever and I bang onto the tress and it was so funney. Haha. Next we took flying fox and nah, it was not that high lah. I can managed it. Took The viking and it was a 360 degrees viking. We took that 2 times and by the 2nd time we felt nothing actually. Chey action lah. Next, we tried on the Terminator. It's a laser something. You kill the opponent by using laser and it was so tiring cause you have to run to get away from the enemy. :P Scream Park was for me ok lah. The ghost trying to scare us but for me, I didn't feel anything until I saw pochong. Nie case kurang ajar tau. I didn't even look at the dummy pochong. LOL. I am very scared of pochong and I don't know why. :P After that, POOL! My favourite since the place was scorching hot and now I'm having sunburrn. Uncool. :P
By 6pm, we're we're off back to SG. The coach that we took was Aeroline and I swear, it was the most convenient coach ever. They provide us with dinner and also hot drinks. I took hot chocolate lah. Yummeh. :D Reached Singapore at around 11pm plus and they dropped us at Harbour Front and thank you to my sweet bf for fetching me after my 4 days of absence. We took cab home and my parents thanked him for fetching me till wee hours. All I can say is, Alhamdulilah, i'm back safely from 4 days 3 nights trip. :D
From 8 people to 7 people to be exact. Just the 5 guys and including me, 2 girls. The trip went well, we took WTS coach which went by the Second link and to be frank, I love 2nd link because the Q isn't that long like at Woodlands Checkpoint. Save time and save energy.
On the first day before we even departed, it was raining cats and dogs with thunder and lightning. Wooo, it was scarry. The coach left the place at exactly at 615am and it took us like few minutes to settle down inside the bus. Ouh boy, it was cold. There were only two pittstop for us to buy breakfast and another was to let us do our business. From Singapore to Genting, it took us about 5hours to reach there. The place was so beautiful with fogs and more fogs as we went up. It was raining there and it was super cold when we opened our mouth there's fog and we went jakun. LOL. Our hotel was the First World Hotel and we get the 2nd highest level and I can see mountains after mountains and just a tiny road. It was mesmerising. :) Once we settle down and got our room we put our bag and get ready for lunch. Nothing much on the first day. Just photo taking session and have our very late lunch over at Pizza Factory. It was yummeh. Night time, we played bowling and I thought I was at the club. They on the music and I can't even hear myself ok. We had fun. Night time, we slack at Starbucks to get myself a hot chocolate and get free Wi-fi to check on my twitter. As usual. :D
Second Day, we went down to Kuala Lumpur to shop. Just imagine we went there from 10am till 930pm. We went Sungei Wang, Central Market, Petaling Street and back to Sungei Wang to shop till our feet feels like jelly. It was tiring day and our dinner was from Subway and yes, it was delicious! I want subway again! :D Back in the hotel, had our late dinner and bang, slept like there's no tomorrow. ZZZZ.
Third Day, Genting Theme Park which I thought gonna be exciting but nah, it was such a disappointment. Like seriously. The only thing that was really scary was the Space Shot ride. I took it once and that's it. Enough. The roller coaster and some rides was closed due to maintenance. My mood went down slowly and night time, they played bowling again I was like "what the f?" AGAIN. Not feeling well and I almost vomitted while on the way back to our room. I'm shagged and tired and day 3 was the most boring night ever. -.-"
Day 4, The last day. Packed our bag,check out and off to Sunway Lagoon by taking the cable car. We reached Sunway Lagoon at 12pm and we only have few hours before we need to get change and back took bus from there back to SG. The first ride was the Go Kart. 2nd we took ATV, ATV, the best experience ever and I bang onto the tress and it was so funney. Haha. Next we took flying fox and nah, it was not that high lah. I can managed it. Took The viking and it was a 360 degrees viking. We took that 2 times and by the 2nd time we felt nothing actually. Chey action lah. Next, we tried on the Terminator. It's a laser something. You kill the opponent by using laser and it was so tiring cause you have to run to get away from the enemy. :P Scream Park was for me ok lah. The ghost trying to scare us but for me, I didn't feel anything until I saw pochong. Nie case kurang ajar tau. I didn't even look at the dummy pochong. LOL. I am very scared of pochong and I don't know why. :P After that, POOL! My favourite since the place was scorching hot and now I'm having sunburrn. Uncool. :P
By 6pm, we're we're off back to SG. The coach that we took was Aeroline and I swear, it was the most convenient coach ever. They provide us with dinner and also hot drinks. I took hot chocolate lah. Yummeh. :D Reached Singapore at around 11pm plus and they dropped us at Harbour Front and thank you to my sweet bf for fetching me after my 4 days of absence. We took cab home and my parents thanked him for fetching me till wee hours. All I can say is, Alhamdulilah, i'm back safely from 4 days 3 nights trip. :D
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Hiatus for 4 days
In less than 12 hours, I'm off to Genting. I need this holiday because I really need it. After donkey years, this will be my 3rd time heading for a short getaway. I am excited but at the same time sad for leaving my bf for 4 days. Ouh well, I hope I really really hope I can find a handphone shop for me to buy their prepaid card so that I can contact with my parents especially and him.
4 days. I hope this holiday trip will go on very smoothly as planned eventho there are a lot of problems occurring before. Doa-doa agar aku dan kawan2 aku selamat pergi and selamat balik. Amin. :)
Seems like my bag is overly tersendat. HOW?! I need to shop okayy. So so so lazy to pack my bag. Sometimes holiday is fun but the pack and the unpacking of bag can be leceh! HAHA.
Okdeh. I have to stop for now. Currently, waiting for my cousin to come and sleepover at my house. Woots. Till then. Bon Voyage to me!
Will always miss you...
Friday, March 30, 2012
Part of me
No words can describe how I feel right now. I can't even type in whatever things I really want to say because my mind went blank. And so.... This relationship will not happen if you were not there for that dinner over at Breeks. As soon as I knew you were coming on that night, I guess, only God know how happy I am at that point of the time. It's just that I didn't show it. :) From a simple text... Here we are having in a happy relationship together. You understands me and my need and I understand you and your need too. We can actually read each other's mind of what we want and what we need. I'm glad you come to brighten up my life and to be able to make me smile even if I'm down. Hey you, I'm in love with you again. <3
3 more days to Genting...
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Just A Week Left
Today is Sunday and just a week left, I'll be going off to Genting/KL trip with my friends and cousin. :D Just imagine, with only 2 girls and 6 boys altogether, I'll guarantee you, this trip gonna be quite chaotic. Haha. I just hope, no pranks and no "eh mak kau terkejut" moment ok. :) I hope everything goes on smoothly as planned. Me and my cousin including the boys are so excited already about the trip. Opps! I haven't pack my bag yet, I mean that can be done later what I'm concern is the clothes. Unless, I'm a guy, it will be very easy for me lor. Hehe.
All I want in my life is to be happy. Please for once, make me happy. Thank you. :)
All I want in my life is to be happy. Please for once, make me happy. Thank you. :)
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Sister Love
We can fight over a small thing. We can shout at each other for being nonsense. We can called each other names. I can be like an ass and you can be such a bitch. But after all, we do really love each other so much. We cared so much but we didn't even show it. And now, looking at you sleeping so soundly, makes me wonder, how do I live without you. You have been my roommate for the past 21 years of life and I never get bored of you. Soon, we will be leaving each other and will be in our own ways for good. Hey, Nur Fadhilah Sanib, when I scold you meaning I love you. You will be my one and only adik and noone else can replace you. I love you,jackass! :') <3
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Kecewe
After today, my mood of going to Genting/KL trip has fade away. I fucking don't have the mood already because of one soul who make our fucking life so difficult. Sekejap nak pergi, sekejap tak nak pergi, who the fuck you think you are? Fucking VIP pe? I am sick and tired of dealing with people who are fucking fussy. If you don't have the money at the first place, why make a big fucking fuss of wanting to go at the first place? You are not the only soul who don't have the money ok. -.-"
Maybe, this will be my 1st and the last holiday trip with you people. Because of one person, I don't feel like going holiday anymore. Thanks for ruining everything including my mood. Hati kau lah nk kene jaga? Hati aku, hati orang lain semua siape nk jage? Hantu ke? I'm pissed. Seriously.
I feel like cancelling whatever things I planned this Thursday. If you guys don't have money, you can not come. Like I say, I am not forcing you people to come. If you guys want to go to Punggol End, go ahead without me because Punggol is FUCKING far for me and the westsiders. Daripada aku gi Punggol, might as well aku duduk rumah diam2 besarkan badan aku kan.
There's something about budak2 East side. Kepala dorang is either da senget atau ape, aku pun tak tau. Asyik nk kene ikut rentak dorang aje. Menyampah big time lah sial. -.-"
I am sorry for the language. I'm not in the mood. I can be very minah if I'm very very angry. Try me lah. I keep my temper for so long, but please don't let the temmper explode ok. I'm just kecewe! And I miss my boyfriend so muchhhh! Awak, can balik cepat? I need you so so badly now. =/
Maybe, this will be my 1st and the last holiday trip with you people. Because of one person, I don't feel like going holiday anymore. Thanks for ruining everything including my mood. Hati kau lah nk kene jaga? Hati aku, hati orang lain semua siape nk jage? Hantu ke? I'm pissed. Seriously.
I feel like cancelling whatever things I planned this Thursday. If you guys don't have money, you can not come. Like I say, I am not forcing you people to come. If you guys want to go to Punggol End, go ahead without me because Punggol is FUCKING far for me and the westsiders. Daripada aku gi Punggol, might as well aku duduk rumah diam2 besarkan badan aku kan.
There's something about budak2 East side. Kepala dorang is either da senget atau ape, aku pun tak tau. Asyik nk kene ikut rentak dorang aje. Menyampah big time lah sial. -.-"
I am sorry for the language. I'm not in the mood. I can be very minah if I'm very very angry. Try me lah. I keep my temper for so long, but please don't let the temmper explode ok. I'm just kecewe! And I miss my boyfriend so muchhhh! Awak, can balik cepat? I need you so so badly now. =/
Love of my life..
Mom's 55th Birthday.
Abang's Solemnization Day
It was a tiring but a fruitful event for me and my family. Once again, Selamat Pengantin Baru to one and only bro, Muhammad Fairuz Bin Sanib and Noor Arinawati Bte Norrzali. May your loves last long till Jannah. Insyaallah. Amin. <3
Monday, March 19, 2012
Day 1
The day has come. He went to Phuket for a holiday with his friends. I pray for him and his friends for a safe journey to Phuket and also from Phuket with one piece. I know I'm such a cry baby, texting him how I really need him when he's gone. A day without him I can feel so restless how bout 5 days? I wanna cry out loud but hey he's on a holiday, just holiday, he will be having fun please don't destroy the mood. And that's why I didn't send him, I know I'm gonna be very clingy and will cry after that. Plus, I'm not going to cry in front of him. No way. I'm ego just like that.
Few years ago, during our days at ITE, I can't be bothered to have him in the group either in school or during our group outing. But now, who expect to be like this?
Dear Mr Khai, I hope you will have fun and forget about Singapore ok. Don't worry bout me cause there's scandals for me to go on for a date and will accompany me throughout your absence. :P If you know who my scandals are. I'm sure you know. Anw, I miss you already. Please come back in one piece you,annoying bf. :') Sincerely, your irritating gf. <3
I love you....
Few years ago, during our days at ITE, I can't be bothered to have him in the group either in school or during our group outing. But now, who expect to be like this?
Dear Mr Khai, I hope you will have fun and forget about Singapore ok. Don't worry bout me cause there's scandals for me to go on for a date and will accompany me throughout your absence. :P If you know who my scandals are. I'm sure you know. Anw, I miss you already. Please come back in one piece you,annoying bf. :') Sincerely, your irritating gf. <3
I love you....
Saturday, March 17, 2012
I'm Linda and not other people
Eversince ITE, I told myself not to follow other people. Make your own decision as long as I'm happy with it. :)I'm the type who don't really get influence by other people. Maybe because I'm just being Linda. Haha.
Sheesha. Yes, I know, people who wear hijab like me can go out to Arab street and have a puff but not for me. I told my friends that I hate and when I said, I hate, meaning I fucking hate the place at night so much. A friend compared me with his hijab friend who also sheesha whenever they lepak together. I told him this, "That's her, by all means, your friend is not me." And he went silence and just smile. *shrug* I don't understand why hijab girl go there and sheesha. Korang punye pasal lah k as long as I don't follow. :D
The other one is watching boyfriend playing soccer. Ok, here the thing, I hate to surround myself with boys. Soccer boys especially. I see so many girls supporting their boyfriends by watching them playing but not for me again. If I want to support and give motivations, I would love to give him a text message rather than watching my boyfriend playing. I know he can play well because before we are together, he can actually play well right? :) If silat competition, I'm fine with it cause I really want to see him silat, cause I can melt easily by watching him silat. Ok miang.
Told my boyfriend that and he really understands me. I am sorry if I'm not like any other girls.
People called me,"Linda bukan perempuan, lindakan lelaki" I don't know why I feel so sad but nah, I'm ok with it, actually. As long as I'm straight. Haha. Even my mom understands me so much that she can be very mean. She even said this to me, "....can you please be more lady like? Buat keje macam perempuan lah takmo kasar2..." Always get that and ouh well, I'm just being Linda and I'm proud of myself. :D
I'm just weird like that huh.. All I want people is to accept me but not to judge. To those who loves to judge me, by all means, why would I care? Bluek. :D
Sheesha. Yes, I know, people who wear hijab like me can go out to Arab street and have a puff but not for me. I told my friends that I hate and when I said, I hate, meaning I fucking hate the place at night so much. A friend compared me with his hijab friend who also sheesha whenever they lepak together. I told him this, "That's her, by all means, your friend is not me." And he went silence and just smile. *shrug* I don't understand why hijab girl go there and sheesha. Korang punye pasal lah k as long as I don't follow. :D
The other one is watching boyfriend playing soccer. Ok, here the thing, I hate to surround myself with boys. Soccer boys especially. I see so many girls supporting their boyfriends by watching them playing but not for me again. If I want to support and give motivations, I would love to give him a text message rather than watching my boyfriend playing. I know he can play well because before we are together, he can actually play well right? :) If silat competition, I'm fine with it cause I really want to see him silat, cause I can melt easily by watching him silat. Ok miang.
Told my boyfriend that and he really understands me. I am sorry if I'm not like any other girls.
People called me,"Linda bukan perempuan, lindakan lelaki" I don't know why I feel so sad but nah, I'm ok with it, actually. As long as I'm straight. Haha. Even my mom understands me so much that she can be very mean. She even said this to me, "....can you please be more lady like? Buat keje macam perempuan lah takmo kasar2..." Always get that and ouh well, I'm just being Linda and I'm proud of myself. :D
I'm just weird like that huh.. All I want people is to accept me but not to judge. To those who loves to judge me, by all means, why would I care? Bluek. :D
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Tired of being tired
After the weekends, I'm so dead. I mean I'm really really really tired. All I want to do now is to rest and sleep.I swear, I can sleep while waiting for my bus to come, while walking and while talking. What a way to start off my last week of school. I should be sexcited about this but nah, still need to finish up my reports. There are a total of 3 reports that I have to do. Plus 1 minute of video. I find it lame. 1 minute nak bebual ape? Cakap cakap? Irritating. Ask us to do lots of things but no payment. FU! I rather be at Creative now replying emails and get scolded by the customers, at least get pay. -.-" TP POLICY, my ass!
Ahh, just looking forward to Genting trip. All of us need a short getaway and distress ourselves. Ouh,Genting, Aku akan menjerit tak lama lagi. Tunggu kami!! :)
My eyebags... SOB SOB
Ahh, just looking forward to Genting trip. All of us need a short getaway and distress ourselves. Ouh,Genting, Aku akan menjerit tak lama lagi. Tunggu kami!! :)
My eyebags... SOB SOB
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
I'll be back
Been busy during the weekends and now I'm tired. Not enough sleep and have difficulties in waking up. I'll be back soon. Stay tuned for more updates. :D
I love you.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Impromtu
I've been always love impromtu meetups. Just like yesterday. :D
Was on the way home when suddenly Mr Khai called me and asked me if I want to joined him and his friends for a karaoke session or not. Without any question asked, I said ok and off to Town straightaway. Ouh, I missed singing and the last time I karaoke was when, few months back. And Mr Khai and I were always wanted to go for a karaoke session but always delay cause not enough people and we can't be singing the whole day right? Hehe.
I swear, yesterday was my first time singing with a bunch of people that I just knew. Excluding my boyfriend. I kept on saying, I don't want to sing because I just can't sing infront of so many people. But then, I just brave myself and pretend that no one sees me singing and wala, I sang. :D Kind of nervous actually.
My boyfriend's friends are crazy, irritating and funney! Had an awesome night yesterday even though it was a such a short meetup because of my personal curfew. Thank you, cause you people make me feel like as if I'm part of you people. :D
Before I sign out, Happy 55th Birthday Mom. :D
Love you with every bits and pieces. <3
Was on the way home when suddenly Mr Khai called me and asked me if I want to joined him and his friends for a karaoke session or not. Without any question asked, I said ok and off to Town straightaway. Ouh, I missed singing and the last time I karaoke was when, few months back. And Mr Khai and I were always wanted to go for a karaoke session but always delay cause not enough people and we can't be singing the whole day right? Hehe.
I swear, yesterday was my first time singing with a bunch of people that I just knew. Excluding my boyfriend. I kept on saying, I don't want to sing because I just can't sing infront of so many people. But then, I just brave myself and pretend that no one sees me singing and wala, I sang. :D Kind of nervous actually.
My boyfriend's friends are crazy, irritating and funney! Had an awesome night yesterday even though it was a such a short meetup because of my personal curfew. Thank you, cause you people make me feel like as if I'm part of you people. :D
Before I sign out, Happy 55th Birthday Mom. :D
Love you with every bits and pieces. <3
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
:D
Didn't they say that I would make a mistake
Didn't they say you were gonna be trouble
People told me you were too much to take
I could see it, I didn't wanna know
I let you in and you let me down
You pushed me up and you turned my whole life around
I could feel that I had no where to go
I was alone, how was I too know that..
You'll be there, when I needed somebody
You'll be there, the only one who can help me
I had a picture of you in my mind
never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
the friend that was there all along.
Who'd believe that after all we've been through
I'd be able to put my whole trust in you
Goes to show you can't forgive and forget
looking back, I have no regrets cause..
You will be there, when I needed somebody
You will be there, the only one to help me
I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
the friend that was there all along
You will be there, when I needed somebody
You will be there, the only one to help me
I had a picture of you in my mind
never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
the friend that was there all along
Monday, March 5, 2012
Distant
I'm a girl who will have crush and who will like people easily. Well, that's before I'm in love with my boyf now. Before I met him. I had a lot of crushes but I just like them from far and will smile to myself whenever I saw them right infront of my eyes. Ouh well I'm miang just like that. Cause I know where I stand. I was single and nobody can stop me from doing that. It was some kind of entertainment in school, just giving you mood to go to school. *shrug* But now, not anymore. I'm busy looking at my boyf's face. I don't get bored cause I'm in love with him and will always in love with him. :)
For me, having a crush and liking that person is not consider as love. I always remind myself, like and love are 2 different things. Yes, I do like someone but that doesn't mean I'm in love with him. I have a story to share but I'm not going into details.
This story before I met Khairi. Yes, I used to like this guy. This guy is funney and sometimes merepek also. I don't know why I like him but I just like his company. People said, 2 friends can be as close like a lover but that doesn't mean they can be together as a lover. And so, we tried to be as close but nah, I just feel nothing. I always find fault with him and always end up fighting. I hate it at first but now, I realized we can only be friends and this friendship still keep on going until, he have a girlfriend.
For upteen times, this friend of mine da berbuih explain to his girl that everything that has happened before they got together was just a history. Before they met, before I met Khairi. I don't understand why she get jealous even till now? Even she and I are friends now. She will get jealous when my friend of mine talked about me. Somehow, I feel offended. Sigh.
Can't we be friends? There's no competition because I'm happy with my Khairi. I think, it's best if I distant myself from this friendship. Let's make sacrifices and I just want them to be happy. There are so many times, they fought all because of me and when I heard it, I just want to laugh but I have to control this silly emotions of mine. Babe, I'm his friends and I'm not a bitch to steal someone's else's boyfriend. I know my stand not now, I know my stand way before I entered into this school. Experienced it before. Jealous? You can be jealous but not because of my friendship with your boyfriend. I think, I have to distant myself. I'm sorry friend, I can only go out with you when there are more than 2 people. :)
I'm the one who will feel awkward. You people are being unfair to me. I had no choice, I have to make this decision. I want my name to be clear by now. Don't relate my name when you guys are talking on the phone. I want my name to be clean. I want people to hear my name and say, "ouh, your friend huh" not "ouh, that girl who used to like you huh." Fuck this shit, I don't want my name to be mentioned like that. Thank you very nice.
As I'm typing this, my mind is still thinking about Khairi. I love you.
For me, having a crush and liking that person is not consider as love. I always remind myself, like and love are 2 different things. Yes, I do like someone but that doesn't mean I'm in love with him. I have a story to share but I'm not going into details.
This story before I met Khairi. Yes, I used to like this guy. This guy is funney and sometimes merepek also. I don't know why I like him but I just like his company. People said, 2 friends can be as close like a lover but that doesn't mean they can be together as a lover. And so, we tried to be as close but nah, I just feel nothing. I always find fault with him and always end up fighting. I hate it at first but now, I realized we can only be friends and this friendship still keep on going until, he have a girlfriend.
For upteen times, this friend of mine da berbuih explain to his girl that everything that has happened before they got together was just a history. Before they met, before I met Khairi. I don't understand why she get jealous even till now? Even she and I are friends now. She will get jealous when my friend of mine talked about me. Somehow, I feel offended. Sigh.
Can't we be friends? There's no competition because I'm happy with my Khairi. I think, it's best if I distant myself from this friendship. Let's make sacrifices and I just want them to be happy. There are so many times, they fought all because of me and when I heard it, I just want to laugh but I have to control this silly emotions of mine. Babe, I'm his friends and I'm not a bitch to steal someone's else's boyfriend. I know my stand not now, I know my stand way before I entered into this school. Experienced it before. Jealous? You can be jealous but not because of my friendship with your boyfriend. I think, I have to distant myself. I'm sorry friend, I can only go out with you when there are more than 2 people. :)
I'm the one who will feel awkward. You people are being unfair to me. I had no choice, I have to make this decision. I want my name to be clear by now. Don't relate my name when you guys are talking on the phone. I want my name to be clean. I want people to hear my name and say, "ouh, your friend huh" not "ouh, that girl who used to like you huh." Fuck this shit, I don't want my name to be mentioned like that. Thank you very nice.
As I'm typing this, my mind is still thinking about Khairi. I love you.
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