Distant

I'm a girl who will have crush and who will like people easily. Well, that's before I'm in love with my boyf now. Before I met him. I had a lot of crushes but I just like them from far and will smile to myself whenever I saw them right infront of my eyes. Ouh well I'm miang just like that. Cause I know where I stand. I was single and nobody can stop me from doing that. It was some kind of entertainment in school, just giving you mood to go to school. *shrug* But now, not anymore. I'm busy looking at my boyf's face. I don't get bored cause I'm in love with him and will always in love with him. :)

For me, having a crush and liking that person is not consider as love. I always remind myself, like and love are 2 different things. Yes, I do like someone but that doesn't mean I'm in love with him. I have a story to share but I'm not going into details.

This story before I met Khairi. Yes, I used to like this guy. This guy is funney and sometimes merepek also. I don't know why I like him but I just like his company. People said, 2 friends can be as close like a lover but that doesn't mean they can be together as a lover. And so, we tried to be as close but nah, I just feel nothing. I always find fault with him and always end up fighting. I hate it at first but now, I realized we can only be friends and this friendship still keep on going until, he have a girlfriend.

For upteen times, this friend of mine da berbuih explain to his girl that everything that has happened before they got together was just a history. Before they met, before I met Khairi. I don't understand why she get jealous even till now? Even she and I are friends now. She will get jealous when my friend of mine talked about me. Somehow, I feel offended. Sigh.

Can't we be friends? There's no competition because I'm happy with my Khairi. I think, it's best if I distant myself from this friendship. Let's make sacrifices and I just want them to be happy. There are so many times, they fought all because of me and when I heard it, I just want to laugh but I have to control this silly emotions of mine. Babe, I'm his friends and I'm not a bitch to steal someone's else's boyfriend. I know my stand not now, I know my stand way before I entered into this school. Experienced it before. Jealous? You can be jealous but not because of my friendship with your boyfriend. I think, I have to distant myself. I'm sorry friend, I can only go out with you when there are more than 2 people. :)

I'm the one who will feel awkward. You people are being unfair to me. I had no choice, I have to make this decision. I want my name to be clear by now. Don't relate my name when you guys are talking on the phone. I want my name to be clean. I want people to hear my name and say, "ouh, your friend huh" not "ouh, that girl who used to like you huh." Fuck this shit, I don't want my name to be mentioned like that. Thank you very nice.

As I'm typing this, my mind is still thinking about Khairi. I love you.