Yeah,go on and put the blame on me

Yes, I did say "I'm not regret of not coming to their trip. I don't feel anything at all." I know, I tweeted that and it's really up to me to tweet something like that or not. Fuck lah. I don't need friends like them ok. Sensitive of something. I don't want to care about them anymore. Before this, I had so much peace when I can tweet things I want without thinking about others. But now, it's like I'll have to think twice just for them,eh FUCK YOU GUYSS OFF! *pissed*

Of course they can be exciting sometimes, but they judge me! They judge me of who I am. I don't need them lah seriously. I want this to be over soon. What's wrong of me tweeting that? What's wrong. You trying to "blame" just because I didn't tag along to their trip. I know the more the merrier. But have you guys think about me as a girl? You know how leceh it is to play with the water? Especially when I'm having my period? Do you know that, it is reasonable reason of me not going to your trip. I'm the only girl and do you know about hukum? I thought you guys know and have the knowledge than me? Huh huh huh? Fucking pissed off lah sial! Korang buat aku mcm minah rep now,sial.

And why do I need that long talk? If you think I'm ok of course you just let go and have fun with your holiday. Why must you want to have that fucking long talk with me? I don't need that seriously. I'm ok and seriously ok. Why the fuck I have to listen to his talk? -.-" But since if you insist, let see who will call me. You me, I don't think so! Don't waste time talking to me when there's nothing to talk about. I'm sorry, but eversince my classmates have this twitter, I become more scaared to tweet and I just want to be myself tru twitter! Fucker, please understand that! -.-" Now, there's nomore. =/

I don't think I can be the same again after this. I don't give a fuck anymore. Maybe to some I'll treat nicely but to most of you who judge me, go and fuck yourself. -.-"

I'm so angry sorry for the language.

It's Not Love

I want you to sing me to sleep,
And hold me where the nightmares cannot find me.
Ever since the day you walked into my life,
The pain has ceased,
I feel like I can breathe again.

You give me feelings that I can't explain,
And though it feels too far too fast I can't complain.
But it's taking everything in me to refrain.
When I hear your name,
I fall again.

These butterflies are fluttering,
And threatening to break free,
If I can't keep them caged inside.
These stolen glances, doorstep kisses,
I don't think I've ever felt like this,
I don't know what it is.
Please don't stop me,
From falling.
It's not love-
But it could be.

I want to forget about the things,
That make me so afraid to give my heart again.
And you provide the safety that I need,
When I'm in your arms I can conquer anything.

You give me feelings that I can't explain,
And though it feels too far too fast I can't complain.
But it's taking everything in me to refrain.
When I hear your name,
I fall again.

These butterflies are fluttering,
And threatening to break free,
If I can't keep them caged inside.
These stolen glances, doorstep kisses,
I don't think I've ever felt like this,
I don't know what it is.
Please don't stop me,
From falling.
It's not love-
But it could be.

In your eyes,
Are the answers I've been praying to find.
You're one of a kind,
I'd be lucky to call you mine,
But I'll wait,
Until the day.

These butterflies are fluttering,
And definitely breaking free,
Cause I can't keep them caged inside.
These stolen glances, doorstep kisses,
I know I have never felt like this,
And now I'm sure of it.
Do not stop me,
I am falling.
Yeah it's love-
The way it should be.

(Someone asked me to listen to this song. :))

This holiday gonna be different. I don't want to get emotionally attached to anyone because I just don't want to get hurt anymore by the same person. It's partly my fault of not being able to control my anger and also to control my emotions whenever there's a fight going on. I used to think, he will be my bestfriend one day but no, he can't even accept me of who I am as a friend.

Have you ever dream of someone who will come to you as your bestfriend and ended up becomin your real bf? Yes. I do. Always do. But to have a bestfriend is too late already cause everyone came from a different background which include, they have a group of friends already. Finding bestfriend now is really too late. And I just can't have a close guy friend. Because we will end up like this. Malay said, pergi ke haluan masing masing. *shrug*

At some point I'm losing track. I don't how to be in the situation where you have to handle this feelings all by yourself. Only God knows how I feel. Sometimes, I wish I can really listen to what others think about me in their head. Guess,I have to get used to this kind of situation then. Haiz.




It's always them who makes me smile. They are the first group of people who will tolerate with my attitude and behaviour. Who will tolerate except for them?



Even I don't really like to share my personal stories to her but she can read me. When I'm sad she will know even if she won't ask. Thanks mom, for the love you gave it to me. :)



These are from my mom's side. Just look at us. We're all grown up and of course there's a new member joining our clan. However, to my late aunty, Allahyarham Rokiah Aziz, you're missed. Al-fateha for her.



I'm trying to be strong now. I feel much more peaceful than before. I smile a lot these days and thanks to someone for making me smile every single day/night. Maybe our problems is not the same but the company that we shared are really much appreciated. :) Thank you.

I think,I know what I really want now....

Change?

I've to let go of someone who I can't even have. Sad but life have to move on. =/

I've decided that I'm no longer liking him. It's impossible to like him now cause, we can't even be close friends. We can't do that. How sad life is right. Hmmmm. We no longer hang out, no longer texting with each other, no longerrr etc....... And that's why, I shut myself up from people except for my ite peeps. I'm much comfortable having them around. I can laugh and make jokes with. Simply, they are the best.. <3

I don't know what to say anymore... Speechlesss.

I've decided not to tag along to Malacca trip as I'm the only girl in the clan. I'm ok when another girl tag along but with me and the boys, I better don't want to take the risk. I don't want to be like a mother taking care of their things when they happily enjoy playing with the water. And I just scared that my period will come on that day which is gonna be very leceh! So, I have to back off and let the guys have fun time in their own ways. I'm sorry.

Anyways, jalan raya with the ITE peeps was way to fun and awesome. We have to squeeze in to Hyundai and talking crap inside was such an interesting thing to do. LOL. Thank you to those who were involve! :D <3





Everything seems to be different now. I'm not the cause of it, it's you who want it this way. Before anything bad happen, I think it's better if we stay like this. Please stop saying I'm different towards you,cause I'm saving my energy not to fight with you anymore. I'll just act dumb and act as though nothing happen cause I won't disturb you anymore. Period.



Love me,love me not. Up to you. :D

"So lets ignore each other, try to pretend the other person doesn't exist, but deep down, we both know it wasn't supposed to end like this." - TweetMajik-

2nd Family?

My raya this year is kind of messy. My family and I will be out jalan raya this Friday, Saturday and Sunday. What do you expect? The brother rent the car kind of late and have to push forward to this Friday. Bad move. Really bad move. *shakehead* Anywoos, I can't wait for jalan raya with the ite peeps this Sunday even if it's halfway for me. I really wanted to jalan raya with them why, it's been 2 years since I last jalan raya with them, cause of the guys undergoing NS. Now, ord oh! :D

Yesterday dinner date was really awesome. Enough said. :D











I am really glad to have them as my friends. 4 years and still counting. I just hope the friendship will last long. :D Amin, insyaallah.










It's zikry's first raya and it's my first time wearing pink. I feel so lady-like. Hehe. More pictres to come after next week. ;)

It's confirmed that the friendship gonna sink soon. Maybe not now but after a year. It's sad thing when friends become strangers. *shrug* However, life has to move on.