Just not the best week for me. Mood swing and always feel so tired whenever I'm out. Indeed I feel lonely and more lonely everyday. I thought I can at least talk to someone but I think I better keep what's in my mind and my heart to myself.  Who doesn't want to be happy, everyone does. Though I have a very close cousin and a very lovely boyfriend, I don't know why I felt empty. I'm like missing someone but I don't know who? I'm missing myself and lately, I just need to distance myself from people. The fact that I am lonely right now even days before today, I just have to handle this myself.

I can't handle repeated jokes over and over again because these jokes are getting lamer and boring. I don't know what is lacking about me or us or him. Sometimes, when I say, I am okay, means, I am not okay. Sometimes, when I say, I wanna be alone means I want someone to be with me. Sometimes, when I am not smiling doesn't mean you have to stop smiling and be boring. Sometimes, when I don't say I miss you means, I miss you. Every human being is special but for my case, I hide things and pretend that everything gonna be okay.

You see, girls with period, they are healthy in the sense that they are living like any other women. It only take us 7 days to endure this pain, the swings, the blood that is coming out every secs etc. All she needs is a pillow, a warm drinks, chocolate, and most importantly, her boyfriend. She may be all moody, not smiling but that doesn't mean that you as a boyfriend, stop smiling too. Cheering her up is something she needs. Try something new to attract her attention not by just following whatever she feels. This is not "you jump, I jump" moment where everything she did must follow exactly. Right?

I shall just stop. Tears rolling down on my cheeks and I cry like until I can't cry anymore. Worst mood swing ever. And who is beside me now, noone. Who is on the other end now? Noone.

Lonely.