A confession of me.

Hey there. Guess where I am? Yeap, currently I am at work in the office alone. Well, basically today is already 10 Ramadhan and alhamdulilah get to fast and iftar with the beloved family. So tonight, I'm gonna stay until 1030-11pm  for deployment. Yeap, sucks but what to do it is work and in everyone in the IMH is relying on me. Because tomorrow I am not working.

Well, maybe I am not the type who have the patience and all, but seriously, when someone ticks me off, there you have my ultimate cold shoulder towards you. You as in all in general. Be it my friends, family, siblings, boyfriend. Yes you.

I'm the type of person who cannot see people not paying his/her bills. Come on a simple hand phone bills that you have already signed up and agree on with the contract and you can't pay for it? Well some excuses are, "I don't have money and I'm still schooling." or "I'm not working and tts why I can't pay for it" Ya da ya da. I think that excuses are so pathetic and lame and here I trying my best to advise and yet people doesn't seems to care about it why? Because my advise are not really that important. Why should he/she listened to right? Well, he/she can say, "you can pay ur own bills because u are working already.." But come on, putting aside some of the money doesn't make you look like an idiot. No. For me, if you can't pay a simple hand phone bills, why should you be paying for other bills. I am talking about the whole thing in general. I hate people who thinks that, "no money because no work.." How about the day you eat for your lunch. Some expenses for your own? How about that? I believed we must start to learn how to save. But what I noticed, you get the money you spent it all. You get the money, you spent it all. If you know what you people been doing, now start doing reflection.

I am just scared that I will be living with someone who cannot save for a simple thing. Because I noticed a lot and to have that amount of money is difficult. But show me that you tried saving and I think everything will be lot different. & this is why, I always show no confident whenever I heard about the marriage plans. No confident because I see nothing but money to be wasted like that. No confident because I see nothing but "i want to marry with you" statement all over and over again. Because one day, I am scared that I will be supporting other party instead. I am not complaining though but to be in a bigger step, I must think about financial, house and everything. It is simple as it said, "I want to get married with you. I am not going to make it big.." But how about the rest of the thing? Show me. Proof it to me and we can talk.

Another topic is friends. I don't know if I have a real friends or just "come and go" friends. People around me are getting so busy with work because some of them, settling down in 2-3 years time. While other, they have their own group of friends and ignore the rest. While some, like me, waiting for plans to come because being a planner is not easy. Of course it is not easy because, you need to be the voice for the group. But when the planned cock up, everything run not so smooth already. I am the type of person who go with the flow. When everyone says, okay, I will go and say ok too. If not, I can't be bothered to argue especially to some fussy people. And until now, I only have one group of friend and shall not mention here. They know who they are.

There's some issue that caused us to be in a good mood. And that happened months ago . Guys will always be guys, when they with their friends, in their mind is to come home late and come home late. Well I don't mind about that and who am I to control people to come home late as long as I am not involve and that's fine with me. But the thing is, I felt that I am the cause of it because people's friends sacrifices a lot of things just for me while I can't be there because of the timing. Yeap, I can't be home late especially from a nonsense place such as chalet, arab street, park etc.. Just not my thang and I did not practice that during my teenages years. I don't know if people do really invited me seriously or is it because for the sake of their friend's girlfriend. Well, I used to like to join in but after the recent incident, I shall put a stop on myself on every outing that they gonna do. Serik. I don't want to fight with someone over someone's friends. And I shall back off so that eveyone is happy with one another. Not that tak sudi but I have my own rules and for you nk balik ke tak nk, gasak korang lah kan, just dont get me involve. Anymore. & thank god today I am working pm shift. I will always have the reason not coming to any of the event. Sorry.

It's 1014pm and I am still inside the office. Goodnight and goodbye. :)