It's labour day today and it's a waste that 1 May fall on Saturday. No holiday for those who eventually didn't work on Saturday. Life must be very hard,I guess. So do my life. New topics here and there make my head hurt so much. I haven't yet do my revision and yet done my research. Ayayai.

I still need a little bit motivation for myself. I just can't stop half-way since this is just the beginning. More to come and I need to really motivate myself a little bit more. It's ok if people or even my family didn't motivate me,I'm ok with it and like I always say to myself,"I got used to it already". Why should I take other people's word when they themselves didn't achieve what they want? When they themselve do the wrong things. It's hard to actually advise people when you yourself are like 'that'.

So far,I'm broke and again I broke my promise again. I said,I don't want to shop anymore but I just can't resist to shop. Please don't let me walk in the shopping center where I can find clothes or shoe. I just can't see that anymore. Bohoo! For this time,like for real,I won't shop anymore. No promises! But I'll try. =)

For now,I'm alone sitting alone inside the room while the adek happily sleeping. I don't know about the living room. I don't know whether my parents have gone to sleep or not. They are just unpredictable. I don't know if my brother have bath or not? Sometimes,I feel lonely. Though I have everything in my life but the way the react,I felt so lonely. Sometimes,I wish my kakak will be beside me now. So that,I can pour out everything that's in my head now. Though,last time,my kakak and I were not that closed. People do change huh? I know,in their eyes,I changed into someone really stubborn. But in my eyes,I changed for a good reasons. Why? Because I'm lonely and bored. Yeah,I know,it's not a GOOD reasons but this is me. The person who wanted to follow what he or she wants. Noone can say NO to her. This is me. Between me and adek now I felt that there's a barrier between us. We share for awhile and done. Nothing else. She do her own "good" stuffs while me,the "bad" stuffs. It's always me who have to give in like for everything. So much for being a good sister but they didn't appreciate for a bit.

I ranted so many thing here. I just don't want to,but,I can't help it. Noone will read this anyway except for my friends. Those who think,I'm looking for sympathy go ahead then. Why would I care anyway. My blog. Really up to you guys. I just can't be bother. A secret to share,till now,my dad didn't know my examinations results. Let him think,I got a bad result. I bet he will never think anything except finding fault at people. -_-

Ok dokie. It's 133am now. I should turn in. Before the parents scream at the top of their lung for onlining till night. I'm so confused why they need to scold. As long as I didn't watch porn or chat with random guys it's ok already. Please don't say it's a waste of a time cause for me,watching drama mama like that it's such a waste of a time. =/

It's hard to impressed people. I'm tired to break the ice anymore. And why always me at fault??